My album is now a solo endeavour once more, and is called "Ow, My Prostate!: 24,996 Years of Porcelain Puppy Oppression". I have done some recording for it, but not a lot seeing as how I left my {karaoke machine, heart} in {Bakersfield, San Francisco}.

     I really shouldn't be doing this, as I have a midterm in a few hours. But my mind steadfastly insists that it's an easy midterm, but it's not, but my mind controls my body so what can I do? I'm here hitting keys instead of cramming. When I fail my midterm my mind's really going to get what's coming to it.

     It's raining [], hallelujiah, it's raining [], hey-ey-ey. Get off my land, ya smoochers!

    Kristofer "pwd" Straub and I have discovered a new elementary particle, the Durion. Now at last science can unite the electroweak force and the wacky force!

I feel as though some sort of disclaimer were neccessary for that last item, but I'm not sure what.

Later: Actually, that midterm was pretty easy. I guess my brain knows something after all. But that's what's the deal we're dealing in.

In other news, I finally started work on Da Da Warren Memorial Memorial. Enjoy it, suckers.

Ow, my face is itchy. When you wake up in the middle of the night your face is trying to grow beard stubble and it itches. If you're a guy, I mean. If you have any questions for my face, send 'em in.

     Go to http://www.linuxos.org/page1.jpg for scanned-magazine-page wackyness. "Or, if you do know about Linux, perhaps you envision a typical user as an 18-year-old, socially-challenged male college student with unkempt hair and a collection of Mountain Dew cans." You heer that new Yackoff Smeernof al-bum?

     I guess I should put that up as a quote. Dammit! I need server-side includes to do random quotes with! This has gone too far by half! (where are you going, general?) I'm going up to Harvey Mudd to personally shoot that paper-hanging son of a bitch!

    You know what? When I'm doing FTP or telnet in an X window it actually does those ^Hs when I hit backspace and it's ANNOYING! I know there's a way to fix it, but I'm too lazy.

    I got a 78 on my Math 33A midterm. Pretty good.

I have a quote program and a new version of the rubric program but SSI still doesn't work even though Andybot claims it does. Stay tuned.

It is now halfway through the quarter and I no longer need my schedule to be online. So I took it down. If you want to see my schedule you'll have to ask. Nyeah. Physics 8C sucks. But at least electricity and magnetism are the same force. I was worried there for a minute.

    SSI is still nonfunctional, despite a prolonged one-on-one with Andy. Various Apache crap has to be done. My many years of setting up BBS doors acquainted me with big text file configurations, but I guess it's not something everybody is used to. Step aside, Andy, and let a real man configure your server! Oh, I talk big, but can I back it up? You bet I can! At least I don't type periods instead of dashes-^H.

    I am working on some pages, which may become part of Crummy or part of LYH, depending on which hand I write them with. Among these pages are a plea to the book publishing company employees who roam the Web in search of people to gift with juicy publishing contracts, some lectures on user interface design, musings on some KUSC broadcasting quirks, and a ramble (like a rant, but not angry) on seeing thought as software. I have added the following pages as of now: My page of things I fear, my woefully incomplete list of software packages on rubberfish, and a page explaining my usage of the word "chick". I have also uploaded updates to some of my computer pages.

    xly, where x is the number I would put before "ly" if I were keeping track, I rearranged the Leonard Literature page so it's now a directory and features stuff written by me as well as stuff written by others about me. So, uh, there, I guess. No new new content, but the two old stories about the Bug Bash and about Angie Hernandez are back up again, if you want to read those again [for the first time].

    I have a copy of the poison that is Microsoft Visual J++, which copy I won in a trivia contest at the CSUA meeting. if you're in desperate need of this software package, I could be persuaded to exchange it for some item of value. Hey, look, I'm just like those guys in the text adventures!

Bow before the time-delayed might of Andy, as SSI is now <palpatine>FULLY OPERATIONAL!</palpatine> as you can see from the quote up there. An error occured while processing this directive.

    Pack up the station wagon and go over to the Da Warren page, which now features a transcript of the long-not-lost piece of performance art with which Andy and I officially closed the book on Da Warren.

My latest triumph is browser.cgi, which prints a different message based on which browser you're using, and which OS you're using that browser on. Try it out on all the browser/OS combinations you have access to. If it gets something it can't handle, it'll automatically e-mail me and I'll add to it. Whee.

Later: I updated the browser program, and wrote a little source viewer so you can view the source in all its glory. Here is the link.

I put up the latest addition to the Leonard Literature page, a song by Michael Yount entitled Leonard Is A Bastard. Enjoy it. It will be there.

Later: The amazing Browser Greetings program is now even more amazing. I got an e-mail message generated by a webspider canvassing this page, so I added code to log the visits of spiders and such. If the log file existed, it would be here. Check on it periodically, who knows what will turn up. If anyone knows of bots whose HTTP headers do not contain the word "bot" or "spider", or of real browsers whose HTTP headers do contain those words, tell me.

    I just did some minor updates to My bio and my trading page.

Leonard's Yummy Homepage churns ever onwards towards total automation with the application of my newfound panacea, SSI, to the date things on the menu down there. Now I don't have to bother with changing the dates when I do an update. Technology triumphs again!

    Also, a request, to Michael Yount, yenrab, and anyone else who has applied silly nicknames to me. Please send me a list of said silly nicknames. I'd like to make a compilation. Happy new year! Damn.

Raining again. If I didn't like rain so much it would be depressing. But since I have no girlfriend wanting me to go pander to her lustful desires this Valentine's Day, <popcorn king>sweet fruit juices annointing her body <\popcorn king>, thus requiring me to go outside and get rained on while going over to wherever she might live, it's very nice. The only problem is, they're playing opera on KUSC, which I hate. So it's Zappa time.

    Michael "Tee-hee, Save The Children" Yount mutilated my evil vampire yearbook picture into an evil demon yearbook picture. I didn't put it up because it sucks. If he does a better one I'll put the better one up. At least he used the GIMP.

    I'm making brownies. Actually, I already made the batter. They're in the oven. I guess I'm compiling brownies.

What's this? An update? [smarmily] Well, yes. Check out my Dweebspeak Primer scrapbook, the latest addition to the festering pit of narcissism that is the Leonard Literature page. My phrase for the week seems to be "festering pit of x".

Later: Do PC software consumers benefit now that Microsoft owns everything? Well, here are some price deltas for late 1985 and 1986, inspired by Papa Joe's 1994-1998 comparison. Not very conclusive, but have fun anyway.

Later still: Hey, check out www.mozilla.org. Did you know about the Olympics? They're over now, apparantly.

02/18/98

    My freezer is full of meat. This is not hyperbole. My [laughably small, admittedly] freezer is completely full (so full I had to remove the ice cube trays and the frozen spinach to cram everything in), and it's 80% full of meat. James and I go through Hamburger Helper (and, consequently, hamburger) like a tornado through a trailer park, and David has palletes of pork and entire flocks of chickens which must be frozen. I don't think eating meat is morally wrong or anything, but that's just too much meat in too small a space.

    Mike "Tsk, Tsk, Tsk" Rust, professional Andy's roommate, has successfully pestered me into adding numerous browsers to the browser greeting CGI. Soon I'll have every browser in existance covered and there'll be no need for Arthur Miller's misfits I won't get any more automated emails from the rackem frackem program. ("Hey, you programmed it!") Bite me.

Later: As a public service, I put up Mike's feature requests to show the way I like my feature requests. Well done, without a lot of barbecue sauce.

    I just wrote a song (more accurately, I just finished writing a song). It's pretty silly. It will probably go on Ow, My Prostate!: 24,996 Years of Porcelain Puppy Oppression. Here it is: Born to be Dead

.

Pain, pain, pain. I have physics homework due tomorrow which I cannot do. Plus, I'm coming down with whatever horrible disease Kris had. He was stupid and contagious. Aaaaaaag... I'm going to write a Wheel of Content program which will intersperse those quotes (which I added two of just now) with rubrics and allow easy expansion to accomadate whatever other useless CGI gadgets I write.

    By the way, the Mimic program is GPL. I have funercized my editorial perogie-ative and made it so, in the absence of any response from Mike Rust. Please read and understand the GPL before using or abusing Mimic. Also note that Mimic is a meme, and that by publicly displaying the Mimic program or its output you will be propagating the meme and encouraging others to take it up, effectively shortening the lifespan of the joke. See also Dissociated Press, meme, sliced bread.

The pain is gone, as is the physics homework. But now I have to worry about my Engineering 95 report. Argh. I wanted to be a lumberjack.

    Jake "I'm Huge, I'm Immense" Berendes is redoing the crup tapes web site. He also stole my Emperor Palpatine schtick, but that's fine. The page claims it'll be up Saturday. Whee.

    I had something relevant to say, but I've forgotten it. Isn't that always the way [of the walk]?

    This may or may not be what I was going to say, but I had a vision today of Morn^H^H^H^Ha new web site for my music. I would have a file for each song marked up with <notation> and </notation> tags so that I would be able to have one file to act as both lyric sheet and tab/chord sheet. I could also have <commentary> and </commentary> tags in the same file so the file could contain any notes I had on the song. Then for an album I could just have a page with a bunch of SSI #include directives to include the file for each song. Interesting idea. I'll have to see what happens with the crup tapes site.

Whoa, check it out. The new crupscup page is up ahead of schedule (hey, that thing's operational!) and boy is it mighty. Not only do I have my own page on the Horses of the World label, but I am cited and/or praised and/or emulated on almost every other page. And even if I weren't, it would still be cool. It is a masterpiece of random-content distribution worthy of study by all serious students of the wired economy, and also by people who aren't anal-retentive blowhards. Can I say that? It's my home page, I can say what I want. Oh, and I'm a roll^H^H^H^H^H^Hon a roll. Children, avert your eyes [well, stop!] as I roll out the forbidden word behind its protective <censor> <\censor> tags...

Semprini!

    Boy, that felt good [miaiow]. Man, what am I on? Some kind of barbituate, I should think. But I don't remember taking anything. That proves nothing, of course.

    So go to the crup page. It is your friend. That's all I have for this update. Except I added links to a lot of the crup pages on the Leonard Literature page. Now shoo!