News You Can Bruise for 1999 October 28

Dan's trying to get KatzDot to do the first paragraph of stories. It's not going as well as the headlines, but the stories are funny in a different way. "On Monday this society presented this society with morally superior violence across the country of information as information opening a whole new chapter in Internet. Jane's Intelligence Review is riddled with mind-boggling education."

That may be as good at it gets. I'd be happy with more stuff in the headlines, personally.