News You Can Bruise for 2000 February 22

I gotta say, I must be just about the funniest guy in the world. Just look at all these people who have ripped off my "open sores" joke:

• Wired News (19990401)
• Bob Metcalfe (19990621)
• User Friendly (can't find the cartoon in question, but it was at a Comdex or something)
• Foxtrot (20000207)

I know I'm overly protective about this. It just makes me think that I'm doing things the hard way thinking up my own jokes.