News You Can Bruise for 2000 December 25

As my free gift to you, I have scanned an old magic catalog I got at an antique store on Saturday. Within the next few years it will become nice-looking and have a paging system with narration, but you can see the raw scanned images here. Fun for the whole family! Except for you.

As my free gift to Jake Berendes, I finally finished the album I was supposed to give him for his birthday. I hope to mail it to him eventually. To make up for its lateness, the album has no less than five titles: A Credit to His Demographic (the main title), Things I Broke on the Way Out, A Harvest of Death, A Vote For Me is a Vote For Food Reform, and special bonus title I Jake Berendized West Covina and All I Got Was This Lousy Tape. I made four track lists for it; you can see one of them. Jake, beware that some of the track names are fake names so that you won't know about songs you've already heard of until they're on top of you, metaphorically speaking.

I'm all packed up to leave tomorrow. I'm taking tomorrow off and will be in work on Wednesday. Back to the daily grind.