News You Can Bruise for 2000 June 1

All the arithmetic operations work now. String multiplication (as per Perl (M-M-Ma-M-Max Headroom)) and modulus were the toughest since I had to implement them in Java assembler (there's no operation or provided function for either), and I suck at writing assembler. String multiplication takes 19 instructions and modulus takes 12. They could be done in fewer... this assembler syntax must have an unconditional jump! Unconditional jumps? I must have this assembler syntax!

So this works now:

Modulus program: calculates a%b
Enter a:
1049
Enter b:
203
1049 % 203 = 34

In Oceans today I learned that it takes 8 tons of water to raise 8 tons of beef (yes, this was relevant to the lecture). I also learned that it takes 2500 gallons of water to produce one hamburger's worth of meat. Unless I made a conversion error, this means that the average hamburger patty weighs 20,781 pounds. No wonder Americans are so fat!

Confused? You won't be, after this episode of Soap.