News You Can Bruise for 2000 September 6

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My car was vandalized on Monday. Someone stabbed two of my tires with an icepick or something. After many trials and tribulations, my tires have been replaced.

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Manoj wanted this story, so here it is: RSA Move Sets Happy Precedent: Corporations Pledge To Monopolize Vital Technologies For Only 16 Years, 50 Weeks