News You Can Bruise for 2002 May 14

Have you received a spam scam soliciting your money laundering services on behalf of a war criminal or other malcontent? Crummy.com wants to know! Send mail to "money-laundering-scam-contest at crummy dot com" with your name, the name and checkered biography of the malcontent (and his/her pandering intermediary, if sufficiently sordid), the amount of money in question, and the percentage of that money designated as your cut. Valueless crummy.com prizes will be awarded in the following categories:

• Largest proposed sum to be laundered
• Largest cut of laundered sum offered
• Single most morally dubious proposition (weighted average of: evilness of malcontent, amount of money to be laundered, size of payoff. Evilness of malcontent to be determined at sole discretion of judges)
• Honorable mention (for those entries, which, though proposing the laundering of a relatively modest sum, are particularly audacious in other respects).

All qualifying solicitations, even those received previous to announcement of this contest, are eligible. Writing your own spam scams for purposes of this contest is strictly prohibited (but funny). Contest will end when I have enough entries.