News You Can Bruise for 2002 June 8

Kris, who sounds suspiciously like Jake in this message, writes:

if i could play piano, i'd cover "good ol' boys from planet honky-tonk" in tom lehrer form. you had the whole lehrer delivery throughout. it needs the lehrer treatment. i demand the lehrer treatment.

Jake warning signs:

• Use of lowercase.
• As far as I know, Kris can play the piano (though not as well as Tom Lehrer).
• Rephrasing a statement of opinion as a demand.

However, it was signed with Kris' eight-bit PGP key (we've learned from our mistakes), so it must be genuine.