News You Can Bruise for 2002 December 20

• My Hiptop broke last Sunday.
• On Monday night I called T-Mobile to get a replacement shipped to me.
• I was told it would be shipped in 24 to 48 hours. I asked to have it shipped next day air, so that I'd get it before leaving.
• I was told to return my nonfunctional Hiptop (postage paid) within seven days or face stiff penalties.

At this point I began concocting elaborate disaster scenarios involving my vacation to Bakersfield and delays in their sending the Hiptop. These worried me until last night, when I called worriedly to make sure they'd shipped it and I'd get it on Friday.

• They hadn't shipped it yet.
• I couldn't cancel the order.
• I couldn't get the address on the order changed, though the operator promised to try to get them to make an exception for me.
• I would get a notice via email when my package had shipped.

My worst fears--confirmed! I sank into despondency, forseeing delaying my trip south for days of waiting at home for the postman for a package which never arrived, bureaucratic nightmares at the post office, etc. etc. I held out hope for the possibility of one scenario, so unlikely that I felt foolish even considering it.

• Today the Hiptop arrived.
• I have yet to receive email saying that my package has shipped.

They had been entirely accurate in their promises the first time I'd talked to them, and wrong in every detail when I called to follow up![0] Amazing! It's a Christmas miracle, adjusted for inflation!

So, I have a working Hiptop now, and I'm happy. A couple times in the past 12 hours I began NYCB screeds against T-Mobile's customer service but deleted said screeds as petty, vindictive, and uninteresting. Determined to learn from my earlier rhetorical excesses, I was working on a calm, reasoned indictment of the bastards when the point was rendered moot.

[0] It's conceivable that my package could have been shoved out the door the minute I got off the phone, but it was sent through USPS, which shuts down at 5, ne c'est pas?