News You Can Bruise for 2003 December 9

I found my electric razor at the bottom of my suitcase, so my original reason for having the beard is now moot. However now the inertia reason has kicked in--why not go with the beard and see where it leads? I'm already finding it invaluable for forming psychological defense mechanisms that make my endless Perl-filled days more bearable. So long as I have the beard, I can pretend that this is not my real life; it's just fan fiction about me. Once the campaign is over I'll shave my beard and wake up like Rip Van Winkle. "Whew! It was all noncanonical!"

Anyway. I was thinking that it would be nice if real life had a lost+found directory for everyone, where you could find socks and other things you thought you had lost, possibly scrambled. Someone should work on this.