News You Can Bruise for 2005 February 12

Permalink [Comments] (14) Sat Feb 12 2005 11:01:

I have a compulsion to buy weird soaps and sometimes I regret it. Like the cocoa soap. It smells like cocoa! Hmm.

The soap I'm using now is some lavender clay soap. I dropped it on the bathroom floor when I was taking it out of its package, and little bits shattered off. Yup, clay soap.

The flyer for the CodeCon Google reception last night says "Relax and rewind." What does it mean to rewind, in that context? It could have been a retro-video-game-themed party, but no such luck. They probably meant "unwind"?

Off to give Gleeper talk.

Comments:

Posted by Aaron Swartz at Sat Feb 12 2005 15:07

Thank you, Leonard. I'm reporting live from the filing center outside CodeCon to bring you some exciting liveblogging of Leonard's Ultra Gleeper talk. While we reporters can't actually see Leonard from here, we can see each other, and let me tell you, the excitement about his speech is palpable.

I spoke to a couple of the spin doctors earlier and they told me that I shouldn't expect much from the speech so that I can later be blown away by how much better it was than I expected. Now I'm not sure what to expect, so stay tuned for more updates.

Posted by Aaron Swartz at Sat Feb 12 2005 15:12

This just in! A loud buzzing noise has come over the speakers! Now someone appears to be saying "Check. Check." We now go live to commentator Andrew Phillips for his thoughts. Andrew?

ANDREW: This is a bold move. By broadcasting the "Check. Check" it's as if they're taking us behind the scenes. This is a clear tie-in with the software's "open source" strategy and really extends the brand to a wh--

Sorry to interrupt you there, Andrew, but now we're getting someone saying "one two, one two". OK, they're done. What were you saying.

ANDREW: Well, it really extends the "open source" branding campaign to a leve--

Sorry again, but it appears Richard Stallman is trying to muscle his way in front of the camera. Richard?

RICHARD: Ultra Gleeper is clearly labeled "free software", not "open source". By calling it "open source" you once again show your clear anti-GNU bias. I call for a full and independent investigation and will subsequently demand resignations.

That was Richard Stallman, a leader of the open sour--

RICHARD: Free software!

Excuse me, free software movement. Thanks for stopping by, Richard. Stay tuned for more.

Posted by Aaron Swartz at Sat Feb 12 2005 15:47

We now go live to Bram Cohen! Bram situates Ultra Gleeper in the larger context of "reputation systems".

BRAM: So here's Leonard.

(What sounds like a standing ovation.)

Posted by Aaron Swartz at Sat Feb 12 2005 15:49

Leonard attacks the press for its nabobs of reputation system negativism!

Posted by Aaron Swartz at Sat Feb 12 2005 15:53

Leonard endorses torturing ("coercion") people to get their valuable datasets!

Posted by Aaron Swartz at Sat Feb 12 2005 15:54

Leonard announces he's on the side of "big companies (or small companies with money)".

Posted by Aaron Swartz at Sat Feb 12 2005 16:01

Leonard decries public's obsession with "the surface" -- "behind the scenes it's a little more complicated" he says.

Posted by Aaron Swartz at Sat Feb 12 2005 16:06

Leonard challenges his competitors, not to a debate, but to a "battle royale"!

Posted by Aaron Swartz at Sat Feb 12 2005 16:11

Leonard humanizes himself by talking about his love for Hardy Boys exclamation marks.

Posted by Aaron Swartz at Sat Feb 12 2005 16:12

Leonard endorses snobbery, introduces the "Indie Rock Peter Principle Act".

Posted by Aaron Swartz at Sat Feb 12 2005 16:19

Tough left-wing journalist psychs Leonard out with spam question, forces him to admit fallibility.

Posted by Aaron Swartz at Sat Feb 12 2005 16:26

Leonard is thru. Another standing ovation! Thanks for watching our live coverage.

Posted by Leonard at Sat Feb 12 2005 22:37

But what does this have to do with soap?!

Posted by Brian Danger Hicks at Sun Feb 20 2005 14:51

It has EVERYTHING to do with soap!

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