News You Can Bruise for 2009 April 3

The ultimate gadget for today's rough economic climate: torch and pitchfork in one!

Near the Astoria Boulevard stop there's a brand new pawn shop. It's got those triangle-shaped flags you see on car lots and a gaudy new sign and everything. Now, I've pawned the family silver many a time, so I'm no stranger to these dens of despair. But what would a new pawn shop sell?

Well, it turns out you can buy standardized display boxes of jewelry, and new pawn shops sell that. There were also some sports trophies, which seems strange. Despite my boast in the previous paragraph I know nothing about pawn shops, but who would buy someone else's sports trophies? Were they just to make it look pawn shop-y? Is it Phil Hartman's sentimental pawn shop?

Update: Maybe it was pro sports memorabilia that just looked like a trophy. Another thing you could pre-buy to stock your shop.