News You Can Bruise

The only thing worth saying is "I'm sorry." I may think those things. John and I may even say those things to each other. But don't impose beliefs or possibilities or happy thoughts on me.

Backyard Artillery also has other weapons of varying degrees of lethality, including suction cup crossbows, childhood favorite burp guns[0], and labor-saving hand-held bubble machines.

If you're into the heavier stuff you can build or buy ancient siege machinery and revive the gentlemanly art of laying siege. (Siege defenses, hunger, privation, reduction to last extremity, traitor crushed by shields all sold separately.) Provided history of siege machinery includes amusing yet frustrating detail:

Unfortuantely, we now know that most of [Ralph Payne Gallwey 's] sources are fiction. He even invented fake reference numbers for them at the Bibliothec National in Paris, France.

All these links derived from cl links.

[0] Susanna, I'm sorry I shot at you with the burp gun at our grandmother's house when you had no way to defend yourself.

• The happy couple
• Secret Agent Rachel (possibly the best picture I've ever taken).
• A scene from the "Popeye the Sailor Man" debacle, where instead of writing a song like we usually do, KAL made up style parodies of every band in the world doing Popeye's theme. My favorite was the Dave Matthews Band version where I plunked away on the guitar while Kris rambled "Up, down, and all around, I'm Popeye, the sailor man..." Also: all through college, Kris and I aspired to be as cool as Adam. I think this picture demonstrates that Kris has caught up, while I'm left in the dust.
• My doomed attempt at a photo op to create a surge of populism for my gubernatorial campaign. How was I supposed to know most people don't wear tuxedos all the time?
• Great picture of Sumana. Sumana saw the filename and said "Are you trying to sell these?" She prefers this picture.
• The cake photos weren't going as well as Susanna had hoped, so she took matters into her own hands.
• Jon's mother and Susanna's mother (aka my mother)
• Susanna and Rachel hug.

• Salda in a sandwich
• We built this dinosaur from scratch.
• We tried to stop her, kind of.
• Me with an enormous turtle!
• Jon and Susana in their kitchen
• Atticus can be a little melodramatic.
• My last picture of Lejeune, a great one with Susanna.

TEASER: Susanna: married? I have the story! After this!
CONTENT: Susanna got married. I wore a tuxedo. So did John (ye groom), and a bunch of his young cousins. We all stood around at Tuxedo Junction and had pictures taken of us. It was jolly good fun. The next day there was a reception in Bakersfield. Everyone who was anyone was there, except for certain someones. Sumana looked glamorous in various dresses. Susanna looked glamorous in one dress. Life became a dizzying blend of cake, sliced fruit, and more pictures. Party followed the previous portion of the same party. Would it ever end? Yes, but not til pretty late.

Next week: I head to Utah to attend a second reception there, and then to sneak up on some trilobites with a geologist's hammer. Try to hide in the sedimentary rock, will you, trilobites? Take that! Whap!

I also got a great birthday card made by Susanna. It has a drawing of a dinosaur and one of a fish being confused by a fishing lure. "Happy being 23!", she says.