La Vie En Rose for 2006 June 5

Today is a month since mom died, and I would just like to point out that I am having a crappy day. Probably made even worse by the fact that I just got back from an awesome weekend. Class was fine and everything, but I'm not in the mood to make myself concentrate on schoolwork, which means that I pretty much have nothing useful to do other than polishing the handles on the kitchen cupboards and I don't want to do that either. Tomorrow is election day and I haven't figured out who I am voting for, and since I've pretty much ignored all the propaganda I don't know what I'll do. Maybe moveon.org has a voting guide for me on the website. They probably do but I haven't been reading the emails, shame.

When I went on campus today I saw a bunch of kids playing on campus--their school must be out, but their parents' school isn't, yet. It reminded me of when I was a little girl tagging along to her mommy's classes at CSUB. I lost a pound puppy out by the lake-ish thing I walked by today. Seeing the kids there brought it all back and when I got to office hours I had to leave for a minute and come back before I could talk. I really wish I were the type of person who could hide from one kind of thought with another, but right now I don't want to think at all, and I can't concentrate. PH was nice enough to invite me to eat after class, and we talked about my trip and things to do, how to avoid getting sick, and I got to play with Lily. I wonder if I ought to just pick up a book now, even if its not exactly school-related, instead of sitting here all night wondering what to do and letting the whole thing go completely to waste. I want to read Rebecca West's Black Lamb and Grey Falcon before I go, but I don't think I'll have time and of course I don't have it, due to the ban on buying new books till I am done reading the ones I have. Hopefully tomorrow I will feel more up to working on my paper. I have to get cracking because it needs to be done this week.