Spam As Folk Art for 2010 January

(Kevan) Warning!:

• Every extra inch gives her extra chance for reaching final destination.

  And that's why you'll never catch her, Achilles.

• Warning! Our watches are extremely cheap.

  No, wait, I mean "Welcome!"

• It will be difficult to take the eyes off your watch.

  Here, pass me that penknife.

• Only a healthy person can live a complete life.

  A healthy, dead person.

• Our watch will look great even on any loser.

  Thanks, guys.

• Feel 10 years younger in bed today

  With this Transformers quilt cover.

• We have invented cheap designer watches.

  I don't think it works like that.

• No watch will be able to compete with yours.

  Progresses through 24 hours in just five minutes.

• You need more blood to make your penis bigger?

  Uh, no, thanks, I'm fine for blood.

• Potion for perfect bouncing!

  Will you please leave your pick-axe outside?

(Brendan) "Details you asked for.": I got an unsolicited message from a nonexistent domain this morning, with that subject line and this body:

Recipe for great BBQ Sauce:

INGREDIENTS
1 quart apple cider vinegar
1 (20 ounce) bottle ketchup
1/4 cup paprika
1 pound dark brown sugar
1/4 cup salt
1 tablespoon black pepper
2 tablespoons red pepper flakes
1 tablespoon garlic powder
1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
1/2 cup lemon juice

DIRECTIONS
In a large container, mix together the apple cider vinegar, ketchup, paprika, brown sugar, salt, pepper, red pepper flakes, garlic powder, Worcestershire sauce and lemon juice. Pour into an empty vinegar bottle, ketchup bottle or other container and store in the refrigerator for up to 1 month.

That's it. No links, no attachments, no images, no hidden HTML. There isn't even anything funny in the headers. Presumably this was just a live throwaway test of some new botnet, but it looks pretty good!

What do we think the recipe actually produces: good sauce, bad sauce, hidden messages, crystal meth? And if it really does produce sauce, how does it taste on... Spam?