Traffic for 2006 January

(2) Sun Jan 01 2006 18:56 PST 2006 it is: Susie and I went to Disneyland yesterday morning and stayed until around 2 pm. We got on all the thrill rides and even went on the new Monsters, Inc. ride @ California Adventure. But then it started pouring rain, so we headed home.

Susie and I ordered pizza and went to bed at 10. When I woke up, it was 2006.

Today was my first day trying church at 11 am. It's not too shabby--you can sleep in and still get home at a reasonable hour. It was also my first Sunday as a CTR 6 teacher. I've learned that you don't teach five year-olds, though. You do this mix of baby-sitting, snacking, and game repetition to drive home "choosing the right." Our class is three boys and three girls, but two of the boys were gone today. So that left me with 3 princesses and a boy with Down Syndrome (he's the reason we teach the class--no one else would and they knew, from observing me in Nursery, my unending patience). He's not too hard to handle--he colors well. You just have to watch the door, cuz he likes to run away.

Five year-olds are funny. Every thing I say leads us off on some undesireable tangent:

Me: Does Jesus love you?

Kid #1: My next door neighbor does. Her house is blue, and ours is green.

Kid #2: My dog loves me. His name is Napoleon Dynamite. That movie is so funny. Have you seen it?

Kid #3: I'm hungry. I like Goldfish.

Me: So, does Jesus like it if we choose the right?

Kid #1: Yes, but sometimes I choose the wrong.

Kid #2: Christopher always chooses the wrong. He's mean to everybody.

Me: Who's Christopher?

Kid #2: A boy at school.

Kid #1: I go to the same school as Charlotte. But not Joshua. He's in Hawaii on vacation.

Kid #3: I have marker on my hand.

Kid #2: Do you remember Summer?

Me: I don't know Summer.

Kid #2: From Napoleon Dynamite. Her boyfriend is wierd. And we should vote for Pedro. That's choosing the right.

Can't hardly wait for next week!

(2) Wed Jan 04 2006 21:11 PST My Name is Asher Lev: I like to tease my nephews and nieces. In particular, I like to tease them about tacos. It started with always asking Ember how many tacos she wanted for her birthday/how many tacos she thought Santa would bring her.

I started teasing Tyler in the same fashion recently. He thinks it is very funny to joke about such things. In fact, he started telling me that his name is no longer Tyler David Van Oostendorp, but is now Tyler David Van Taco. My sister and brother-in-law confirmed for me that he does indeed instruct others to address him as such. Who needs Playhouse Disney and Gerald McBoing Boing to "develop a child's sense of humor" when there are tacos?

(2) Sun Jan 08 2006 19:34 PST From the Mouth of Babes: So, today's primary class was also full of its surprises.

Teacher in general session: So we should do the right thing. You know, not watch R-rated movies, etc.

Girl: My dad watched an R-rated movie last night.

Teacher: Ok....

How do you even respond to that?

(5) Wed Jan 11 2006 13:04 PST I Agree: So EY has made the "Top 100 Companies to Work For" again (8th year in a row). This article describes how a company that expects so much of its employees can possbily be seen as a great place to work.

It's hard not to agree with their assessment while spending two weeks at the Sheraton. My bed is the most comfortable bed I've ever slept in.

(4) Thu Jan 19 2006 12:51 PST Made In America: My new pajamas are falling apart.

There. I updated. Back to studying.

(4) Sat Jan 28 2006 15:28 PST To, From: To Mom: I've heard you'd like the family to all be together one day. Well, Jamie and I anxiously await everyone's relocation to Southern California.

To the California Board of Accountancy: Thank you for the six months of endless studying. It is over. I have triumphed. Consider me certified.

To E&Y: You owe my $650; consider me certified.

To Alyson: Another plug for visiting us in SoCal: I haven't seen a Wal-Mart since I moved here. Seriously. And I don't try to avoid it.

To the IRS: I spent three hours this morning calculating my refund. As you can see, my accounting prowess has more than tripled my refund from the prior year. Please promptly send, as I have an Alaskan cruise to pay for, including a helicopter ride and a dog-mushing session.

To Susie: Well, it's my turn to be stuck at home. So have fun in Las Vegas. Don't forget me. And please spend your money on scrapbooking, and not on gambling. We work way too hard. See you Wednesday.

To my primary children: Please go easy on me tomorrow. I'm flying solo.

To my big belly: You knew this day would come. Study time is over. Workout time has come. Please go away quickly.

John

Sun Jan 29 2006 18:47 PST Sabbath-day Silliness: Today's Christian capers started in Sacrament Meeting. This new couple spoke. As is customary, the woman went first. About five minutes into her talk she informs us that she can't go on and excused herself to the bathroom. So they had two ward members bear testimony. She came back, apologized, and finished her talk. When she initially ran out I wasn't sure if it was stage fright, morning sickness (since Susie and I are the only childless couple in the ward), or the normal sick bug. Apparently it was the third option, as she came back and finished up. And it was a really good talk. It was just something I've never encountered before. I think, had I been in her situation, I would have just cut my talk short, bore testimony, and left. But her method is commendable.

Then came Primary. The general session was a disaster. The new primary chorister came in completely unprepared, and the President was missing. Her husband was supposed to assist me today, or so I thought. And Spencer (our little boy with down syndrome) refrused to sit still today. So I had to hold him the whole time. Standing up. Five year-olds are heavy. Kudos to the rest of my class who sat reverently in the meantime. I think Spencer likes me; this justified him testing my boundaries today.

Primary general session ended 15 minutes early. That meant I had to adapt my 45 minute lesson into a 60-minute lesson. And, since it was the fifth Sunday, all the adults were right next door, waiting for me to screw up (our class is on the stage). Luckily, I was very entertaining. I decided to play hangman. Now, I should mention that these kids don't read. Or know how to spell. But they really enjoyed this game. We played it three times, and it filled up the time, cuz they kept picking odd letters like X, Z, and Q. Needless to say, I can't believe I didn't think of hangman sooner. That was the story of my childhood church experience.

I worked out for 2 hours yesterday on the treadmill while I watched "The Pelican Brief." My body aches. But, no pain, no gain.