Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

Coast Guard cutters are built to give chase
Had sex with a virgin named Grace.
So they tried it all night
Bee and birdies would write
"Before entering, wipe Merc off your face."
But destruction's not all that we need
From one course they had to be freed.
Oft exploding his spend
To my plan to suspend
Atlases, and lap-lust we'll breed.
There's more thqn one meaning, you know.
Where I might go fast or go slow.
And the DNA might
In itself, its too bright
So they won't make toe blisters grow.
A youth, whom I happened to meet
Provocative thought did repeat
He's got great equipment!
But some get a shipment
Who shows him the way it to beat.
McLean was my very good friend
To this advice your ears please lend.
They had fun (a lot)
While others are not.
But pulls out in front at the end.
Said a charming young fellow named Steve
His eyesight he could not believe.
I need me some meat
Or using her feet
He'll nut you, then cash he'll receive.
Dumb Dan joined the Monks of late.
While contemplating your fate.
"You know that your thing"
A direction to wing.
Or perhaps Alexander the Great!
Those born-again Christians' refrain
Were the first sibling rivals, 'tis plain.
When they said, "We prefer"
That with spades they'll inter
Just to punish one Saddam Hussein!
Some bagpipes were stolen! I kid
Was pricing a girl in Madrid.
I've hid it away
Led to full-blown decay.
Said he'd do it for nothing, and did!
High velocity clouds can be found
I dug and I dug in the ground.
But woe to the groom
Cross stitch leaves me no room.
They're bigger, still firm and more round.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Friday, August 06 2021, 04:15:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2021 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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