Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

By this time, I'd spent all my money.
Word play, so bright, sweet as honey.
Or higher depending
My garden and bending
Got me obsessed with boffing a bunny.
On Sundays they capture the air
First gave our Miss Marple a scare.
To give 'em your brawn
Till your memory's gone!
Plus five bucks, with a tip that is rare.
A lawyer is a beagle
While the events are all perfectly legal.
Pills, oysters, and honey
That said, "Pay me money."
By sending over Eddie the Eagle.
A very fat girl in despair
Arranges her body with care.
I'm a homonym, yes!
To relieve all this stress.
As long as there's fellows to stare.
As part of his schooling, young Kent
When in bed her husband was spent.
"Who's dong is the bigger?"
Than calling him "nigger".
But with Jane it was pay as you went.
Near the front at Liege, a young whore
But find yourself here on the floor.
And when someone grabs
"Would you care for some crabs?"
Who was standing below, by the door.
I once shopped Supermarkets for grapes
Captured treasure and carried out rapes
He has double joints
At interesting points
Dates, prescriptions drugs, video tapes.
There was a young lady of Ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling.
That I'm slightly queer...
You'll hear me cheer
And tonight we shall drink till we're reeling.
An affluent man of great wealth
Leads to DEGRINGOLADE of family's health.
Never once to feel shame
And I said, "Are you game?"
They then introduce them by stealth.
Without the act of contrition
He claimed he'd a more important mission.
A kind and fond greeting
Her chores, while she's beating
The lawyer and the first politician.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Sunday, May 22 2022, 05:25:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2022 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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