Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

I dislike all this crude notoriety
Is there so much Bad Faith in society?
While sometimes it read
But I look with dread
Indulging in gross impropriety.
Ascondas will grow in the trees
In his bid to keep pace, shouting, Please!
But from flogging my dong
It's three letters too long
Or, "I'm cold." Or, "I'm going to sneeze."
How varied the family Sen!
The board has too many men.
The priest thought for a while
They might wear a smile
"Dear God, are you coming again?"
I heard that in hair, you don't lack.
Was said to be great in the sack.
That (touch if this hurts)
Who wear minuscule skirts
"Telling mom, 'less you fill up my crack."
A dumb TV addict named Joe
On skin flute she's happy to blow.
She fitted a pair
There's no cunt can compare
But a cordial? That has got to go!
The roseate cheeks of the RUDDY
On why love is getting so muddy.
But folks in the middle
So I'd rather not fiddle
For something we call a "fuck buddy."
In O'Reilly's pub, a young lass
My pride in the fart soon did pass.
His mind kept on ringing
The glass; I like singing
That each can talk out of its ass.
Now, Betty the pot head's story
It's funny or sexy or gory.
On nerves it can grate.
It is cold on your plate.
She was good as the Pope in his glory.
There once was a man with a beard
Big Mama fainted as I'd feared.
In his fear that once dead
Like a brute he has said
Now, where has that coq disappeared?
My ignorance here I am showing.
Is just choices of where we'd be going.
He thought it real sweet
You used piece of meat!
Make sense when it's either way flowing.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Wednesday, May 22 2019, 23:35:03 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2019 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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