Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

I dislike all this crude notoriety Is there so much Bad Faith in society? While sometimes it read But I look with dread Indulging in gross impropriety. Ascondas will grow in the trees In his bid to keep pace, shouting, Please! But from flogging my dong It's three letters too long Or, "I'm cold." Or, "I'm going to sneeze." How varied the family Sen! The board has too many men. The priest thought for a while They might wear a smile "Dear God, are you coming again?" I heard that in hair, you don't lack. Was said to be great in the sack. That (touch if this hurts) Who wear minuscule skirts "Telling mom, 'less you fill up my crack." A dumb TV addict named Joe On skin flute she's happy to blow. She fitted a pair There's no cunt can compare But a cordial? That has got to go!

The roseate cheeks of the RUDDY On why love is getting so muddy. But folks in the middle So I'd rather not fiddle For something we call a "fuck buddy." In O'Reilly's pub, a young lass My pride in the fart soon did pass. His mind kept on ringing The glass; I like singing That each can talk out of its ass. Now, Betty the pot head's story It's funny or sexy or gory. On nerves it can grate. It is cold on your plate. She was good as the Pope in his glory. There once was a man with a beard Big Mama fainted as I'd feared. In his fear that once dead Like a brute he has said Now, where has that coq disappeared? My ignorance here I am showing. Is just choices of where we'd be going. He thought it real sweet You used piece of meat! Make sense when it's either way flowing.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.