Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

"Goodbye then," said Janine and started
Gave a push and my butt cheeks they parted.
Now, Archie, stay calm...
Will do u no halm.
Poor Boudy, she died broken hearted.
His bowstring by far was too short.
Aussies were good for a last resort.
He didn't reply
And the reason why
Saying the evidence won't stand up in court.
For one month we now have to wait
The "owners" who provide each plate
When an old whore appeared
And not where I'd feared
There's a hotdog van parked by the gate.
With all the abortions each morn
Or a day to speak a lot of corn.
And still like to flash
No more secrets for cash!
At the end, and the edges were worn.
A big-bottomed, flat-breasted lass
Who had the most beautiful ass.
They contorted a knot
Of course, and why not?
Which should be banned from cooking class.
She's only 16 and she's learning
In matters of sex was discerning.
All though, it's all
Please, everyone call
And he talked to the bush that was burning.
The dry cleaners, Smith, Parker and Bose
Might make a new thrill, but who knows?
They have been up all night
'Til the oven door's tight.
And her skin becomes suffused with rose.
Some folk turn to joke books or funny
I said just this morn to my honey.
Her black and white dress
Are that you have to guess
I pay her Confederate money.
There was a young woman named Meg
"Don't travel around here, I beg."
But astute renovation
Shows a high correlation
She sputtered, "That's not an arm, it's a leg."
I once asked the Bishop of Leigh
Not terribly famous, you see.
They both have their Priests
But they fucked her, the beasts!
I've still time to go on a spree!

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Tuesday, September 26 2017, 12:35:06 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2017 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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