Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

There once was a lady of Corning
Of herself with fine jewels adorning.
I always play rough
Eighteen holes is enough!
"It would help if you gave us a warning."
There was a young girl from the city
Nothing much very witty!
There's little to do
But Smith never knew
The wild scenic part of this ditty.
TV news can be purged of this blight.
As she gave him a kiss of delight.
Most especially prided
Aunt Gertrude decided
Us to heaven that Saturday night.
With a hard-on he walked down the street
We've achieved quite a record, my sweet.
But I believe the guy
But her virtuous cry
By at once going down on their meat.
You say that your mom got new hose?
Wearing naught but a big yellow rose.
But he's such a sap
For the shrewed little chap
But to "Lets fuck", she turns up her nose.
I once home wine-making tried.
They're all full of ego and snide.
My outward depiction
I think it's addiction
And stay on the up windward side.
Hill woke up Bill, a cheap shot...
Are available before they rot.
Began to seduce
Some one please introduce
More coffee please, iced or hot.
If you had the mistaken impression
Are born of a wicked obsession
On a buxom young maid
While typist gets laid.
Than her regular day-time profession.
There's an Arizona town they call Ink.
Is more dangerous than one would think.
You must post only rhyme
And that's my last dime.
And find its way into my drink.
There was an old Scotsman of Fife
If you won't mind just a bit of strife!
During sex, Sergeant Quinn
Grew, aimed at his chin.
To divorce my inflatable wife!

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Monday, November 20 2017, 15:20:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2017 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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