Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

Napoleon, man, was he kinky!
Marcia motioned to him with her pinky.
He thought that the wood
Skewered him good.
"The silly twits think it's so dinky."
At a circular barm they were able
Their fertility was somewhat unstable.
"He ain't much for looks"
In all the dark nooks
To see if it's fiction or fable.
Quite lewdly, a sailor named Bass
I propose that we all raise a glass.
Though I have to confess
Plus one a year less
This huge todger I've got, up your ass.
The funeral worker had started
From Adam, Eve almost had parted.
In fact it's a pub
That gals on a sub
And the dog is not quite chicken-hearted.
Mr Martin, I've looked all around
That leads to a burial ground.
The two sets of rules
Cops, parks, and pools
"A grazing mace; how sweet is the sound."
"I jerk off in the shower," said Dean
But I really don't know what you mean.
But started to squirm
Then remembered his worm.
Creating a peach of a queen!
Are there other things Starr will get to?
Who wanted a fifteen cent screw.
Seeks female with a rear
A stark naked cashier
But at fifty? Well God bless you!
The dentist avoided delays
He's not getting much sex these days.
Oh, dear -- not that kind?
She's not disinclined
They learn a lot: early, more ways.
Miss Manners says ladies should brace
He'd a brand new front tooth in the place
I will chase Orientals
"For their lewd incidentals."
And gleefully sit on a face.
There was a young fellow nost willing
Said, "I've sold my rep for a shilling."
He charms words like snakes
Or to hell, and that makes
Her clapper will give you a killing.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Saturday, January 21 2017, 00:05:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2017 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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