Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

"What's all this ailing, armed Knight?"
Huddling, their temples alight.
In firearm 'twas loaded
His hair is eroded
And you never put up a fight.
Dick and Jane one day came home from school
We hope they establish wise rule.
It was such a sight
Will never be right.
A good man will have the right tool.
India thinks the A-bomb's just swell.
It's in love where this poet has fell.
I must have looked down
We charged a half-crown.
So we sent for Bob Horton from Shell.
Two women who live in the West
To recite that old rhyme is my quest.
Maybe the action
To square your infraction.
I save all the best on my vest.
We knew from the start that he lied.
Went to town every night and got fried.
They scrambled ashore
They'd perform on the floor.
Of the ladies he had on the side.
The King's School in millions will score
Bush's actions say "not any more!"
But I had a crone
Sell what you don't own.
And the price headed straight to the floor.
It is hard to stay home on the range
A straight guy did something quite strange.
To those who'd inquire
It was time to retire
He'll presently cough up your change.
I do solemnly swear to bestow
All the face cards have value, I know.
At the end of the week
Why not equal rights seek?
But we know where they went -- Ho, ho, ho!
Hussein will now fear insurrection.
Which thereby removed my erection.
She lay flat on her back
Has taken him aback
Then each points in a different direction.
Disappointed and grieved was Miss Schick
Who does a remarkable trick.
He refused to take Lizzy
I mutter, "Lizzie."
And maybe an eighth of that, thick.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Friday, April 03 2020, 21:30:03 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2020 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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