Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

The girl with a body all-right
Who awoke with a terrible fright.
We lie on our backs.
They're all grinding an axe.
"Not at all. We'll be going at night!"
A young knight met a maid. He did charm her.
Espying a lass, made a pass at her.
Then they'll get a view
That like others, they too
But wished she'd allow him to beat her.
To Elizabeth Arden you flee!
Who said: "Where is Gertrude and Louie?"
Though he suffers from pain
That's hard on the brain.
Made naturally forty four D.
A financial advisor in serge
Has become a most terrible scourge.
Except this house mess
Said the Pope in distress.
They flew through the air all-a-surge.
She didn't know how to appease
Who could put fruit up her cunt with ease.
Are to an adult
"It's a worthwhile result."
But he made some new ones out of cheese.
I am not a big fan of the veil.
At dust on a flat surface quail.
In the dim house of God.
Is exceedingly odd.
We left through the whole house a trail.
There once was a man named McNutt
Only plastic wrap covered his butt.
We'll tune in tomorrow
Came a plaintive falsetto
Innuendo, sick humor, and smut!
Just watch those two go to town in
I opened the door just to see in.
So he tried to lay cable
And keep that rate stable
"In your face I'd sure like to fart in."
And 'fore you say, "Bet they've got fleas."
Whose pussy lined up with her knees.
Sister Chris said not
Attained the TOP SPOT
That way you won't lose your car keys.
The lawyer defending Miss Becker
Your limerick is a fact wrecker.
A million bucks
Each fellow she fucks
Turned into a Black and Decker.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Sunday, October 22 2017, 09:55:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2017 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Document tree:
Site Search: