Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

It is exceedingly HETERODOX
Is considered to be orthodox.
His frail masculinity
I'll fuck the whole Trinity!
Was the one that made Thomas love peacocks.
It's always the same when the Daddy
Bought her a spanking new Caddy.
Did you tear it to bits?
I'm sorry that its
Bev's mild next to her sister Sadie!
Jan was a hooker, a rookie.
There's more than one way to that cookie.
If the town's hundred whores
Of the whore reavealed sores
"And curl up with a very good bookie."
Coming on inter-library loan
A young man of considerable tone.
I'll fix your bum knee
Only jam with your tea.
And he'd play with his marbles alone.
Geography's not a sensation
Forgo all his wheel lubrication.
A subsequent event
We all must repent
I'm safe from a permanent vacation.
I wonder how they had the gall
The crack, I am told, was quite small.
She had two beers
In his cell with the queers
Than needs for can possibly call.
In Ireland, churchmen have no guts.
For with tenure they stay in their ruts.
Only Heavenly Grace
You could fall on your face.
But the shaft has been covered in cuts.
Please Wizardly wiz, a new spell.
Thought: If I escape, all is well.
For every wrong tooth
The Fountain Of Youth
"It reminds us too much of Fidel."
I've died and to heaven I've gone.
Of the twenty-first day that young Dawn
The evening went fine
Standing tenth in the line
(Or in our case, don't fumble a pawn.)
A nun of an order inferior
Left the Church and felt somewhat cheerier.
With new wings to flex
The opposite sex
The depths of a woman's interior?

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Thursday, March 23 2017, 20:10:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2017 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Document tree:
Site Search: