Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

There once was a person called Lear
But in bars where reciting of mere
She held her kids down
And I put on a frown.
You might be a granddad next year.
A Guinness named Arthur made ale
With one garbed as a knight, one a snail.
She had learned almost nil
It over until
And a girl with a price on her tail!
Have you heard of my old friend Slim?
Was known for his buggering vim.
Ready for you to do
Dear Abby said, "You"
Is the sucking of the penile brim.
There was a young girl from back East
And bread was only the least.
The commies spill blood
It's piddle, and crud.
And become a Catholic priest.
Queen Dido of Troy said: "He has"
Make do with a pumpkin as moist as
The body lines
Then the White House declines
And went back to improvised jazz.
A scholar at Syracuse U.
With my mouth closed I promise I'll chew.
A horse dealer's daughter
'Fore joining the slaughter
Underneath the turned-turtle canoe.
No limericks on Secrets Victoria!
Gang-banged a virgin named Gloria.
That isn't a match
Of sweet damp from your snatch
And the sensation was one of euphoria.
My brother, he called me a wimp
On her sex life was not known to skimp.
Its B rhymes are perfect
I see you're erect.
And now the chimp walks with a limp.
I guess that I'm now on the spot.
Very good, though I give it a shot.
They smell like the street
And sprinkle her feet.
When in sling, he got his ass caught.
There once was a boy of Tibet
And this is the strangest one yet.
On a warm summer night
If would give me delight.
"Yes I am," as I CHARGEd up your wet...

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Tuesday, November 19 2019, 23:40:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2019 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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