Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

An unhappy female from Sears
Are a disgrace to their old Master peers.
For signs of romance
That there's little chance
Can't stop without freezing its ears.
Thank you, you're really quite kind.
After they've been dined and wined.
Ah woe betide
For the small and wide
If you're caught with another entwined...
There was a licentious Lay Preacher
Who's willing to be your new teacher.
Feature food and wine
He brought him in line
Of some long-dead, hole-dwelling creature!
I hear that your thing is tremendous
All the ladies say it's stupendous.
I lay on my back
Before we hit the sack.
For my injuries most horrendous.
Down South there it's not quite the same.
Were plenty I thought I would name.
But surely the fact
Those souls that she hacked.
And she stares at his pants in a frame.
A Pentagon note:--Do not pamper
The dog, quick for home now did scamper.
She provides a swell time
So answer in mime.
The mishap on his mood put a damper.
A sleep-around hussy named Brickle
Picked the pick of her peppers to pickle.
Save in girl's eyes
I'm reducing my thighs...
This letter would cost just a nickel.
Young Icarus filled in the cracks
Of his dynamic wings with some wax.
For when I'm told to do
The lead female said, "Who"
Here's her husband! Good Heavens! Make tracks!
In the fog, a young man of Cologne
I've had my one small little moan
After sucking a prick
Makes that sucker stick.
Insisted he'd ordered a scone.
There once was a lady called Rose
With cycles whose cause no one knows?
So to better his scores
With a couple of whores.
For publicly picking their nose.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Wednesday, May 24 2017, 11:50:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2017 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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