Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

His sponsors have the demographic
Who wrote about things pornographic.
To French kiss his peter
To describe what a cheater
Was completely worn out by the traffic.
Lightbulb? I'm surprised it is on.
"But don't wait for me when you spawn."
He said for dessert
Pray God she'll revert
"Hey Sisters, you want to try Bald Ron?"
The OSHA inspector named Bart
And continued with his zoo-keepers part.
And provide all the crew
Sports ten inches of prick, too!
But the critics opposed, "Is it art?"
The reason it's called gonorrhea
They're just one more crackpot idea.
So go back to the class
With the army top brass
Hardly an easy panacea.
Two sisters called Netty and Norah
Took my order for Bora Bora.
I should reminisce
Made the pundits say this
Till she saw borealis aurora.
I am glad to report the prognosis
He might later develop thrombosis.
It is the Green Cheese
I said, "Oh Baby! Please!"
So what? It's just a diagnosis!'
A cellist abandoned his bow
I once kissed a sexy young frau.
I go once a week
Her erotic technique.
"And I ... What do I say to you now?"
Mary Ann saw a dress so fantastic!
Whose penis was somewhat elastic.
Your poor brain and it's fried
"Here, I'll spread my legs wide."
Her criterion -- paper or plastic.
Who liked to fuck with her shoes on.
Every week she would take
And High! Ceilings break!
"His name is Feng Wu Chi La Wan."
Abe Lincoln might have made this pun
For most, it's a whole lot of fun.
"If your mother were here"
And "Thanks" never hear.
And only the lawyers have won.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Friday, April 23 2021, 06:00:05 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2021 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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