Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

A coke sniffing dork from Atlanta
Had a hot Christmas Eve with old Santa.
But the one I like best
That he finally digressed
And slid on it into Atlanta.
Descartes woke one night and said, "Damn!"
So sip Maneschewitz, a dram.
Then we slept in the straw
And annul the law.
And she show him her bearded clam.
A fellow named Steve gave a shout!
Was having a fine fucking bout.
If anyone here
But with brain on, you hear
Who figure they'd better stay out.
The result is a great imperfection
Why I sliced off my husband's erection.
He believed hard that come
Of the lecherous scum
And since then, she enjoyed his protection.
I once knew a girl called October.
But I am willing to be sober
That a year out at sea
"Have a net under me."
We hump throughout sober October.
Goliath was killed by the rock
I see that you're eyeing the clock.
His girl gives him head
And drank six Watney's Red
She settled for some granite block.
A teller employed at a bank
A religious fanatic, first rank.
For their favorite son
As he gets off his gun
Of goldfish beside them, and drank.
This stuff is a nightmare of crap.
I shouldn't be taking this rap!
Of leaves falling to earth
Except there's a dearth
For whatever that I might unwrap.
In Baghdad I met a glad bag lad.
The name of the person who had
She said, "Don't be silly..."
But alas, old slick Willie
"It plays a bit tighter a tad."
When a newbie has browsed through the list
Saddam will be gone, I insist.
Said President Reagan
That he tried to kill Reagan
The result of testicular twist.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Sunday, September 15 2019, 16:45:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2019 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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