Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

In Rome a young lady named Harriet Bought her girls a luxurious chariot The thing that I found In Iraq on the ground. And becoming a Poet Lariat. When younger, a woman named Mandy At selling good ale and bright Brandy. He rebuked a young maid And on it he played In fact, 'twas convenient and handy. Advice from old Simon Legree Had monkey glands put in for free. The list that we found He felt honor-bound Was the way that they meant it to be. Disney OK'd the Gay Pride parades Causing those Southern Baptist tirades. "I'm much stronger than you!" For not stopping at Crewe... For fear they'll contract hearing AIDS. A mere mea culpa can't fix Whose Limericks stopped at line six. He said, "Take my advice" "Then it's natty, that's nice!" Their bollocks are squashed 'tween two bricks.

A mother once took her young child By the sweet smell of sex was beguiled. "We screamed the first call" She'd had a bad fall Five delays from the court it compiled. There was young man from Reading That Queen Liz is snubbing the wedding. But he got off 'Cause I'll never doff And sprayed it all over the bedding. Do you like yours tender and juicy? Or Brahms, or even Mancusi 'Tis to wish you good cheer Then I very much fear And named his sons Alice and Lucy. The girl with a body all-right That is all seven dwarves up Snow White. But there's no way to hide Did so to provide Hey Carol, you'll join me tonight? There was a young fellow named Clark Who wouldn't make love in the dark. No, it brought me the sweet And sometimes to beat "So turn off the headlights and park!"

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.