Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

A SCHMENDRICK in search of a wife
Is the longest I've seen in my life.
He drifted ashore
To create on his floor
"Where I come from this sort of thing's rife."
Young Robinson Crusoe would laud
Isn't quite something one might applaud.
"Are you hungry, my dear?"
Your replys made it clear
There's a gutsy, pluperfect old broad.
The user of one simple "u"
And, MAN, was I glad to get through!
So sham becomes shame
I need first your name.
When so many of you have it too.
It seems Tom was right all along
With that girl you just saw, Bishop Sprong?
Seems he was engaged
When he found when he gauged
There was a young man of Hong Kong.
There was a young lady from Harrow
Who rode into church in a barrow.
As to whether I'm bored
And has earned his reward
He replied, "I'm a beau, not an arrow."
A little boy sitting in school
She learning and that's really cool!
Then this daring old soul
(Please hold the drum roll)
And you'd see it there, covered with drool.
An educated plumber from Rye
Who baked herself into a pie.
And heaven forbid
Got money, then hid.
"That's something to remember me by."
At tea once a TIMOROUS toad
You say this stuff's all al a mode?
Even though he had heard
From which I've inferred
"I wouldn't have sowed if I'd knowed!"
So where is the lovely Michelle?
But the best? It's easy to tell
But his sinning didn't cease
And the Justice of Peace.
"Or Pedophile priests who excel!"
A mausoleum stood in the center
When snowflakes and frosty wind enter
But his urge to kiss ground
He produced smell and sound
"But first I must get off dead Senter."

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Saturday, March 24 2018, 18:00:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2018 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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