Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

You guys all have tailors, I see.
My wife's body pressed up against me.
And I can attest
The professor professed
You're broke, they go to Waikiki!
A nasty old fellow called Mark
Who pissed one night in the park.
Who stripped off his coat
"Try the hole in Jack's throat."
In the full light of day, she looked -- stark!
"My shrink for an outrageous fee"
Flood the movies and are on TV!
"See, I told you we'd win."
Said his Doc, "What a sin."
And in it, you scuba for free!
"Electrons all jumbled like rice?"
If once is all right, better twice.
She caught her tail
Who's hearty and hale
By stuffing her cunt with dry ice.
Now Sister, you're being uncool
"See this? Do you think I'm a fool?"
But when he felt
So she got up and knelt
He felt he'd been kicked by a mule!
A frugal young lady named Lee
In seventeen seventy three.
Now the good folks at SETI
(Just like Hawaii)
And therefore, I just could not see!
Or should I forget about health
(Between jobs for great cigarette wealth)
So she climbed up the dome
Further Westward to Rome
And doing so mainly by stealth.
That descent past the end-zone she met
I once had a cousin named Fayette.
He plucked all the hair
"This is the place where"
Disappeared, and left me deep in debt.
Two Catholic sisters named Dunn
Blithe spirits in rain as in sun.
He would mime a man doing
And succumbed to Bill's wooing.
So he decided to try in the bun!
Does your vibrator have a pet name?
People do it themselves. Stupid! Shame!
You fee should be large!
With a chest like a barge
It's best to set floaters aflame.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Wednesday, December 12 2018, 08:05:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2018 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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