Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

There was a musician named Keitel
Whose pecker learned words that were vital.
They get very much
Or the velvety touch
And engaged in an organ recital.
Petrie Dish Sue is so willing
Submitted to all of our drilling.
And helped him to own
Without changing his tone.
For she gave ten bucks change for a shilling.
A writer of limerick rhyme
He's arisen for blood-sucking time.
"tal amnesia that's to"
With Biblical stew
That "limericks" anagrams to "silk crime."
"Let's be astronauts! Earth can't restrain us!"
Longed for life's marital fuss.
"Will you please undress?"
Why? Can't you guess?
Then leave them with nary a buss.
To stop self-abuse, Harold try
"My suicide try went awry."
What mere sense makes apparent
When you are a parent
Which completely unraveled his tie.
My spelling is good, as you see.
Didn't figure this treat for his cow. He
It depends what you need
She'd never breast feed.
"When it's raining or hailing," said she.
That's disgusting -- offensive, old man!
Get some wheels and then date Suzie Ann.
I need the slick juice
Doth pleasure produce
"And I'll bundle her into my van."
The tannins in her Cabernet
I figured it out the same way.
Fulfilled prospects bright
But it's my delight
And stop every ten miles to pray.
The spinning tassles on her nipple
Remarked, "My enjoyment is triple"
When engaged in the sex act
I'm quite pleased by the fact
"Can't stand now and I'm not a cripple!"
At the Market, the best line for me
Complained `bout his girlfriend, Ms Bea.
But all of the swinging
Waltzing Matilda we're singing.
They'd "Why on mars on Mars are we?"

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Saturday, January 19 2019, 23:25:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2019 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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