Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

If he'd listened in school, then he'd know "Bridlington's nice in the snow." Went down on the barker With a Magic Marker Hormone-itch which makes my juices flow. A well-stacked stripteaser named Heald Who never to critics did yield. With Dick, their width and length He cried, "God give me strength!" Who happened to cross that antique 'uns field. The turbine designed by young Blair Had to dress up before they went there. Just a sausage of dough Was dragged in that whore, so As Daddy approached on the stair. Our C.E.O. was promoted: to rejoice Did shave his balls -- that was his choice. Now she doesn't spend much For a sensuous touch Either her or a brand new Rolls Royce. There were two young ladies of Nice But she's terribly frightened of mice. It's how they gyrate So let's celebrate So he fucked her without thinking twice.

There was a young sailor named Gore Who knew all the coital lore. But after some sneering attack (You talk 'hind my back) Ensure that your lim'ricks don't bore. Disposable condoms? You see? Confusing to someone like me. They should drive the point home In Stutgart or Rome No man treats you better than she! Not content with the cash that they took And its curious drivers I'll hook. In water, get traction Was just a distraction. And call me a "Damn redneck crook!" While married to Hillary, Billy Who thought the whole thing was quite silly. If deep in your soul The best Gallup Poll They'd only be gilding the lily! A naughty young lass played the cello. So poor that they can't afford Jello. You cannot deny Now we get it, Oh my! I'd be a very happy fellow.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.