Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

Your quest for that girl named Amelia
I was giving it to Ophelia.
And the view that she took
"Oh! Do come and look!"
As an item of memorabilia.
An old flyer with genital twitch
For it seems she often would switch
To climb right to the top
I'll only make her stop
Not "There goes the son-of-a-bitch!"
The rear cheeks of a Chickie in Goshen
Her kidney was Biblical Goshen.
Is Monique De Plume
If one dares to presume
Of commandments from beyond Goshen.
The problem with writing a verse
And you need more and more of a purse.
It was not for the pay
Decided "Must play!"
"We will just have to shoot him -- or worse!"
A cyberspace junkie named John
Who had such a very short skirt on
But I will not dance
At a great romance
He contrived to dispense with a baton.
I'll share this if you'll promise to scoff
And a machine with which he could spar off.
While the Sultan's away
To see Santa lay
Newpaper head-line - "Jacques-Gough"
"Now here is the weather", he said
Spent all of his time in his bed
And a scarf with a flare
Live without care.
Down the aisle they come, full speed ahead!
I would make a run for the gold.
it's cold
Of me, sans my shirt.
(That name makes my ears hurt)
"As soon as one starts getting old."
Solving problems can be such a fright.
The secret wish that someone else might
He progressed with his guile
They once earned a smile
And we can go out for a bite.
He's Popeye the backdoor man.
CASTRATION, so that he never can.
By Miss June the Second
But our lass hadn't reckoned
No matter how much he might plan.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Friday, February 03 2023, 14:40:03 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2023 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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