Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

I once made burritos and rice
Yet I'm fond of the freedom from vice.
So to tell them "We're through."
Or Irene I would do
So he fucked her without thinking twice.
There once was a jolly old bloke
Once picked up a lass for a poke.
He explains to the crowd
It's no longer allowed
He expired on the 800th stroke.
There's a patch that looks just like a rose....
And punched his progenitor's nose.
It wasn't the Hash
I knew in a flash
To avoid a melt-down expose!
A very keen cyclist named Dash
My God, I think I have whip lash!
How oft do you hear
The front, even HERE!
But the rich parents' teeth started to gnash.
An A.M.A. doctor named Bruce
He may think of calling a truce.
Avoiding the thrill
You regard as uphill.
And finally he drowned in the juice.
Who's watching for our country's good?
If not all that well understood.
A small, scentless popper
But she came a cropper
I'll eat more dessert as I should!
There was a young fellow named Bert
Protecting his own from all hurt.
But often wrote loads
The Archbishop explodes.
By this error to be more alert.
Maybe Mayor Mabel made money in May
And gets his sick kicks that-a-way.
He tries so much
"Penis envy, und such..."
To make the whole world your ash tray.
Mighty Mikey, faked out of his jock
A beautiful tree carved in rock.
Otherwise I'd get flamed
That your weenie's not famed.
'Cause he pined for the minister's cock.
A mathematician named Shaw
Consumed so much chicken and slaw
But he swiveled his pelvis
With gyrating pelvis
To make a log look like a straw.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Wednesday, August 15 2018, 01:30:05 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2018 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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