Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

He hung from the ceiling and eyed her.
Thought a new pair of shoes would enhance her.
So we write our limericks
Who can't see limericks
But not having money to buy her.
In three years from today, I'll be thin!
Formed of letters cedilla and shin?
But now we may judge
"There I'll solemnly trudge."
Then list to the tale that I spin.
An especially sly Ayatollah
Who crashed a big party at Loyola.
It don't take much brains
To the loser, the pains
Come honey and be Gorgon Zola.
If you had any lingering notion
Caused a scandal this side of the ocean.
When she played them together
Deciding on whether
"My head spins in unlawful motion."
There was a girl named Yeti
Young Bobby was married to Betty.
The shame of it all.
So he wrote on the wall
And should only be tossed off a jetty.
Clean lims are boring, no fun!
Years will pass before you are done.
Elton's dumb song
"No, I won't cause it's wrong!"
Must weigh in at nearly a ton.
They've taken a Polack joke poll
Back and forth, side-to-side on a roll?
Do include one or two
That her brave's love was true.
"I'm so glad I voted for Dole."
"My god you're so slack and so loose!"
From long sessions of cucumber use.
I'll sneak up behind you
He gave me one too.
Now that is a real good ex-goose.
On Punxsutawney Day
"War's better than love, I should say."
Did she take a bite?
(Consider no slight)
"It's sure to fall down on the 'way."
So what's with campaigning prose?
One needs metre and rhyme, heaven knows.
But hell, I don't knock it
I mind it a damn-bit
Now she knows where the wild goose goes.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Sunday, December 04 2016, 06:10:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2016 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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