Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

The bishop, determined to dwell
And throw in an extra "L".
By a gal he gave flack.
'Til he finds one, then back
And I'm so fucking happy -- I YELL!!!
This fellow perhaps has the gift; he
Such as ivory and jade
Their memories just fade.
Of non-backdoor places on thee.
There was a young lady from Wheeling
Transplanted a prick to the ceiling.
Just making enough
It will really be tough
So she called on them when she was peeling.
Until then, I'm having a fit
But just remember to eat it.
"There's a book they all want."
But what I most want
"But I never have seen such a pit."
The proctologist said, "I'd adore a kiss."
That claim I am quick to dismiss.
Said philosopher Sklar
It's stuck in the jar!
The ideas's too perfect to miss!
From dark corners of mystic Siam
She played on old Rhett like a ham.
She's scored with the stars
At restaurants and bars.
The best thing that rhymes here is "cram".
Says Poirot: "It's puzzed I am."
The winner is simply a ham.
He said, "I profess"
From her brother, I'd guess.
When competing, making grand slam.
I wonder why 'twas such a shock
The best that they ever did clock.
But our cabin neighbors
Of success in his labors.
For his bite was much worse than his Bach.
When he fired John, the big boss let slip
My sweatshirt and socks I'll off whip.
Its dependability nears
It appears engineers
But instead, poor Monica did Tripp.
A nice gentle man from Crowder
A lady would gargle fish-chowder.
They're marvelous grub!
As 400, a snub.
Two additional cheeks they can powder.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Tuesday, April 23 2019, 16:35:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2019 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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