Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

It only required one touch
When asked to do dishes and such.
He came back to front
Her ass and her cunt
For fear of cry "Doth protest too much!"
Some puss stole the milk, so my scheme
Rammed the cunt of a girl of broad beam.
To stop her from bleeding
He's going to be needing
And I woke with a handful of cream.
Mathematics: of sciences, queen
Had a cunt all spotty and green.
This disorder is great.
The owners would not wait.
His protest is just a smoke-screen.
When judges in courtly regalia
Had an ass nearly big as Australia.
Down the hill, what a rush!
She had such a crush
"But super at black bacchanalia."
There was a young lady named Betty
Was captured by a bowl of spaghetti.
And also a beard.
And not where I'd feared
But her cash flow can not be called petty.
In your verses monks seem so often
Was subject to coughing fits often.
He loudly protested
I still was arrested
"Holy Cow! You don't see that very often!"
There was a young fellow from Troon
Who invented a horrible tune
Leaned over the sink
You can start? (wink, wink!)
And a leg, and be rich very soon!
There was a young fellow named Slatter
Than those he intended to batter.
But as she hardly knew
With a handful of glue
With that nerve-wracking sound, 'pitter-patter'.
There once was a fellow who drank
Their leader particularly stank.
The story line good
He replied, "If I could"
Rodham, please stand in front of the tank.
Of Assisi, St. Francis, the while
Been tired and vomiting bile.
I have terrible fears
And now it appears
And shoved in my meat "doggy style"!

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Friday, December 15 2017, 23:40:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2017 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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