Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

Your Honor,...the dirtiest trick!
Who boasted of a fourteen inch prick.
A real heavy blow
I said "Ayatolla ya so"?
It's a heck of a jam when they call in sick!
The sight of Death Row makes one numb
Designed for voters to succumb
His war in Iraq
"There's a drip in my cock."
But next morning she woke with a bum.
Marshmellows, I thought at first glance
I met there our kitten by chance.
And half for the priest
"In dis kinky love feast!"
"Send three and fourpence, you're going to a dance?!"
Merely sighting the tits on Miss Slattery
Will recharge tired satyr's old battery.
"Dead whores cannot tell"
The rivers will swell
Requires muscle, martinis, and flattery.
I wonder about old man Marden
Then you may find you have to cry pardon.
But when shipwrecked a while
I'm proceeding to file
As he waved it about in his garden.
One brief bout of passion, once done
'Cause people won't let me have fun.
Quite woozy, I wonder
(As they spread her legs asunder)
Much pain and a pus penile run.
Lewinsky of Beverly Hills
Dependent on nostrums and pills.
Her sexual bent
How her interview went.
And he fucked between fevers and chills.
A starving Red Indian Chief
They scream that our leader's a thief.
He couldn't abide
She could give them a ride.
She killed a whole herd of beef.
My mind's in a terrible fog.
Yourself, with this reminder jog.
Causing error which might
With meter that's tight
I'm loath to be kissing a Frog!
Albert Gore remarked, "What can I say"
To such a sweet offer? "Okay?"
In exams, he was top.
It's not going to stop
In the meantime, have a nice day.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Tuesday, September 25 2018, 23:35:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2018 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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