Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

FORFEND, to ward off, prevent So to a Harlem office Bill went. But when the new abbot And you're not a rabbit. You "come" and love ain't what you meant! There once was a guy named L. Ron She looks elephantine, seen end on. There are reds, whites and blues So your body we'd lose. On Iraq, Korea, and Iran. You an only catch mad cow disease And I'll bend myself over you knees. To expect a machine And what did she mean I take steps to fulfill and to please... While we all just sat there amazed It's half-lidded windows were glazed. If you've something to hide When the tit to be fried And does not appear to be fazed. There once was a naive young Virge Who thought global mind could emerge What could Lawyer do Irrational, too! In which modern slang he might splurge.

Some women think it is a sin Survived on cheese, chocolate, and gin. It becomes a real thriller Has not taken the tiller But for you, she would charge just a fin. The Karate School's quite all right, Jack. It also makes for pain in the back. So much vittles he ate He'd never be late. Relight your fire in Gwennie's crack! "Stressed out?" asks our pal, Michael Jackson Debauched an old maid name of Saxon. And so much deceit So wonderfully sweet! "And your flashing your tits like J Jackson." On their first date, she got very curious And condemned his assertions as spurious. Till he met a virago Because I must borrow Otherwise he would no doubt be furious. There was a topographer bold That lists what one tart cunt can hold. Then Kim lost his grip But my old pecker tip "ard, we ought to've skimmed off the mold..."

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.