Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

This modest old chap from Helsinki But there's a girl in East Helsinki As one client wailed And how they had nailed Meeting Boris in old Helsinki. A penniless co-ed named Horning Could not get it up in the morning. I think I'm at my peak. One detected a reek. Soon earned her a grant from Dow Corning. There once was a lady named Cleo Saw life in the region of Leo. That secret delight Shakespeare's dramas I quite Which I'll bring as a back-up in Rio. That essay by Miss Rose Macaulay Nicknamed for the size of his wally. But two? I don't know I'll pluck and then Jo And can't complain of Fred's tiny wally. There once was a pedophile gent Don't despair if your todger gets bent. He had parked up the wrong tree... She would never agree You'll wriggle and moan 'til you're spent.

The Brit farmer nicknamed "Bone" Marrow Who was losing his loot playing faro. It is perfectly plain When the Public Domain Aboard Nereid, now known as Sparrow. Quite lewdly, a sailor named Bass Who said, "Hydrogen's fartdom's main gas." "When the dinner bell rings" Which today pleasure brings. And shoved a cigar up his ass. Moses ate food from a trough. It It shows that he's man of wit. The chance Ah can pocket All I've got's a socket I couldn't give less of a shit. A Cambridge roue could arouse Two boobies like udders on cows! Over 900 thou. Back to mother's." "That cow?" And makes serious celibate vows. Republicans, it seems, always knock She then gently straddled his cock. He'll pull down his pants And said, "Yes, I've got ants" "Or of anything found in the Loch!"

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.