Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

If he'd listened in school, then he'd know
Said the doctor in charge of the show.
Though I'd love to be
And did it for free
Fast women and horses that're slow.
There once was an irascible ass
Taught sex to an overflow class.
Then let yourself go
And guess what? Ho, ho, ho!
'Cause she needed three cups on her bras.
There were two nuns, Sisters Boyd.
It really made Sigmund annoyed.
Holy Cow! This is rot!
She says it is not
That Freud was not filling her void.
A basketball player from Butte
Because of the wig, he's hirsute.
For he formed a whole meal
And he turned out ideal
"These barbs will clean out your whole chute!"
The Prez says that he didn't do it.
She climbed and attempted to sit
If we want a chance
Your fingers please dance
Of a Swede who can't write rhymes for shit.
A soda jerk told me his dream
"Hide your jockstrap unclean by the stream."
But such interaction
Causes female reaction
Then fled her perverted regime.
"Oh sunshine of mid-summer day!"
When questioned, has wise words to say.
There'll be lectures for all
In the classic of Fall.
Carrying more than just a bouquet.
An electronic scheme promised lots
Would make up the customers' cots.
What mere sense makes apparent
When you are a parent
When you're salt, it sure cures the hots.
Nietzsche one said, "God is dead!"
I can see I've adventures ahead.
We dismissed her last week
In my shorts. (tongue in cheek)
"But they'd rather I eat 'em instead!"
A native Executive Sec
Had a toothache and went for a check.
When they climb to the spot
For her ways brought a lot
When she wraps her legs round your neck!

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Friday, October 28 2016, 15:55:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2016 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Document tree:
Site Search: