Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

Oh Ogg, we're afraid you might kill us
I choke exhaust fumes and fuss.
Unless 'twas a re-run
Crashing into the sun?
And he bled all over the bus.
Says George Bush: Vote for me, it's a must!
They'd not with protection fussed.
May he be reminded by us
It's just great globs of pus.
And then they can charge by the thrust.
A bullfighter whose name was Juan
To her timorous swain, "Why, you're shy, John."
Although we revere
I am coming, I fear!
While she sucked on his big bon bon.
From only sparse data can we cull
Bill was feeling so listless and dull.
That true love did not soothe
For the path was not smooth.
There's lamp fragments stuck to your skull.
November the second's the day
And exclaimed, "Oh, don't throw that away!"
But I'm very frustrated
Miss Cash was impregnated.
And garnishee all of your pay.
Two nudists riding a horse
Who was superior, of course.
Not any dumb fool
When he voided his stool
The high price of getting divorce.
Do your pantyhose gussets get wet
Who got that way from having "et"
Will I be bolder
"A Candlestick holder."
But till then; I'm in everyone's debt.
Poor Tony the barber's forlorn
There's still life in my old saddle-horn.
But when shipwrecked a while
They might wear a smile
'Cause it's much quicker downloading porn.
I once met Peter, I'll say!
My muse is reluctant to play.
Once let out a roar
Is a Montreal whore
Soothe AGITA of each new day.
Five gay fellows sauntered into
Then color my green hide all blue!
Have help from my chair.
To all those who dare
On his firk'n head, was that you?

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.


This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Thursday, October 18 2018, 05:50:06 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2018 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Document tree:

http://www.crummy.com/
features/
dada/
limericks/
Site Search: