Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

There was a musician named Keitel Whose pecker learned words that were vital. They get very much Or the velvety touch And engaged in an organ recital. Petrie Dish Sue is so willing Submitted to all of our drilling. And helped him to own Without changing his tone. For she gave ten bucks change for a shilling. A writer of limerick rhyme He's arisen for blood-sucking time. "tal amnesia that's to" With Biblical stew That "limericks" anagrams to "silk crime." "Let's be astronauts! Earth can't restrain us!" Longed for life's marital fuss. "Will you please undress?" Why? Can't you guess? Then leave them with nary a buss. To stop self-abuse, Harold try "My suicide try went awry." What mere sense makes apparent When you are a parent Which completely unraveled his tie.

My spelling is good, as you see. Didn't figure this treat for his cow. He It depends what you need She'd never breast feed. "When it's raining or hailing," said she. That's disgusting -- offensive, old man! Get some wheels and then date Suzie Ann. I need the slick juice Doth pleasure produce "And I'll bundle her into my van." The tannins in her Cabernet I figured it out the same way. Fulfilled prospects bright But it's my delight And stop every ten miles to pray. The spinning tassles on her nipple Remarked, "My enjoyment is triple" When engaged in the sex act I'm quite pleased by the fact "Can't stand now and I'm not a cripple!" At the Market, the best line for me Complained `bout his girlfriend, Ms Bea. But all of the swinging Waltzing Matilda we're singing. They'd "Why on mars on Mars are we?"

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.