Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

I once made burritos and rice Yet I'm fond of the freedom from vice. So to tell them "We're through." Or Irene I would do So he fucked her without thinking twice. There once was a jolly old bloke Once picked up a lass for a poke. He explains to the crowd It's no longer allowed He expired on the 800th stroke. There's a patch that looks just like a rose.... And punched his progenitor's nose. It wasn't the Hash I knew in a flash To avoid a melt-down expose! A very keen cyclist named Dash My God, I think I have whip lash! How oft do you hear The front, even HERE! But the rich parents' teeth started to gnash. An A.M.A. doctor named Bruce He may think of calling a truce. Avoiding the thrill You regard as uphill. And finally he drowned in the juice.

Who's watching for our country's good? If not all that well understood. A small, scentless popper But she came a cropper I'll eat more dessert as I should! There was a young fellow named Bert Protecting his own from all hurt. But often wrote loads The Archbishop explodes. By this error to be more alert. Maybe Mayor Mabel made money in May And gets his sick kicks that-a-way. He tries so much "Penis envy, und such..." To make the whole world your ash tray. Mighty Mikey, faked out of his jock A beautiful tree carved in rock. Otherwise I'd get flamed That your weenie's not famed. 'Cause he pined for the minister's cock. A mathematician named Shaw Consumed so much chicken and slaw But he swiveled his pelvis With gyrating pelvis To make a log look like a straw.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.