Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

I once knew a fellow named Gist
There is quite a lot he has missed.
But an actor named Errol
"Because I'm sterile."
There isn't a girl who'd resist.
A smelly, repulsive old maid
Who pissed on the Turks as they prayed.
The direction of Mecca
While stroking my pecka
With a guy who just wants to get laid.
If you're out of the race, I won't sob.
And it's not a gelding? Good job!
The touch of your hand
Makes my Old Faithful stand...
"Or she'll never drink spunk from my knob."
A young Arab girl and her Sheik
(A practice we trust was unique)
Your boobies ain't flat.
So very much that
I think Mr. Webster's a freak.
Astrologers look to the skies 'n'
To see what would happen when
But the train hit a buffer
'Cause life's a lot tougher
And never was bothered again.
I sit in my room with my nose
Who come last in the race. We propose
The most trivial verity
Prompts hilarity
Until that someone elsewhere goes.
When it rolled 'cross the room and did crash
Who rather enjoyed smoking hash.
All the talk in this nation
Of the congregation
Of my bed, with all of the trash.
That "n" word was quite the hum dinger.
Got his testicles caught in the wringer.
Your slanderous rhymes
And partly at times
"Or I rat to your wife, you're a swinger."
There was a young woman named Jo
In the White House, Bill was to throw
I am too beat to lay
To keep Pat in the way
"My danged old head throbs from the flow!"
"To sleep on marble slab" must be
Ended up with a D.D. degree.
But I do put my fees up
They sip from a cup
Welcome! Ho Fuk, Hu and Di.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Friday, April 27 2018, 08:30:16 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2018 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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