Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

Or else some political chap
MrMalo'd have no one to rap.
One exposes her muffin
That darn old muffin?
And we rap on her twat when I tap!
Some scurrilous lies 'bout my sox
But the men, I'm afraid gave me shocks.
Why has hostile Hussein
If he tried it now, Cain
Each bishop should suck forty cocks.
A cautious young fellow named Luntz
And pulled off a couple of stunts.
Say no! We are sated
Sans periods, fated
But the ausgefuckt male merely grunts.
When the dick that she sliced from the lug
Wed a girl with a cunt like a jug.
The behavior begun
Of the browsers we run...
Then she kissed me and gave me a hug.
With a Moor, you can never be sure
Her perfume, she said, had allure.
Your dong is much better
No headache to fetter
Are more than he can often endure.
BLIGHTY, UK home, has got by me.
Last twice as long as a size C.
He liked to paint faces
Assuming mere traces
Any time he attempted to pee.
It is said that Bill's equally fond
You're a 100 pound weakling and blonde.
It lost by a head
"Town's just up ahead."
His was darker and curled on his wand.
A spermotozoa called Ed
A percussion band plays in my head.
He found out and shot
Doesn't shrink a whole lot.
But even so, would not take her to bed.
Two women are always a draw
Titillated herself with a hack-saw.
She sighed, "Holidays"
That only gourmets
When she lay in the arms of the law.
Should Poppa find out, will he slaughter?
If you're thirsty, drink whisky, not water.
With suction pump gizmo
They can't beg nor borrow
Protecting my wife and my daughter.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.


This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Saturday, August 19 2017, 12:55:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2017 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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