Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

There once was a person called Lear But in bars where reciting of mere She held her kids down And I put on a frown. You might be a granddad next year. A Guinness named Arthur made ale With one garbed as a knight, one a snail. She had learned almost nil It over until And a girl with a price on her tail! Have you heard of my old friend Slim? Was known for his buggering vim. Ready for you to do Dear Abby said, "You" Is the sucking of the penile brim. There was a young girl from back East And bread was only the least. The commies spill blood It's piddle, and crud. And become a Catholic priest. Queen Dido of Troy said: "He has" Make do with a pumpkin as moist as The body lines Then the White House declines And went back to improvised jazz.

A scholar at Syracuse U. With my mouth closed I promise I'll chew. A horse dealer's daughter 'Fore joining the slaughter Underneath the turned-turtle canoe. No limericks on Secrets Victoria! Gang-banged a virgin named Gloria. That isn't a match Of sweet damp from your snatch And the sensation was one of euphoria. My brother, he called me a wimp On her sex life was not known to skimp. Its B rhymes are perfect I see you're erect. And now the chimp walks with a limp. I guess that I'm now on the spot. Very good, though I give it a shot. They smell like the street And sprinkle her feet. When in sling, he got his ass caught. There once was a boy of Tibet And this is the strangest one yet. On a warm summer night If would give me delight. "Yes I am," as I CHARGEd up your wet...

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.