Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

FORFEND, to ward off, prevent
So to a Harlem office Bill went.
But when the new abbot
And you're not a rabbit.
You "come" and love ain't what you meant!
There once was a guy named L. Ron
She looks elephantine, seen end on.
There are reds, whites and blues
So your body we'd lose.
On Iraq, Korea, and Iran.
You an only catch mad cow disease
And I'll bend myself over you knees.
To expect a machine
And what did she mean
I take steps to fulfill and to please...
While we all just sat there amazed
It's half-lidded windows were glazed.
If you've something to hide
When the tit to be fried
And does not appear to be fazed.
There once was a naive young Virge
Who thought global mind could emerge
What could Lawyer do
Irrational, too!
In which modern slang he might splurge.
Some women think it is a sin
Survived on cheese, chocolate, and gin.
It becomes a real thriller
Has not taken the tiller
But for you, she would charge just a fin.
The Karate School's quite all right, Jack.
It also makes for pain in the back.
So much vittles he ate
He'd never be late.
Relight your fire in Gwennie's crack!
"Stressed out?" asks our pal, Michael Jackson
Debauched an old maid name of Saxon.
And so much deceit
So wonderfully sweet!
"And your flashing your tits like J Jackson."
On their first date, she got very curious
And condemned his assertions as spurious.
Till he met a virago
Because I must borrow
Otherwise he would no doubt be furious.
There was a topographer bold
That lists what one tart cunt can hold.
Then Kim lost his grip
But my old pecker tip
"ard, we ought to've skimmed off the mold..."

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Wednesday, November 14 2018, 09:40:05 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2018 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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