Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

Pete's the paper carrier 'round here.
That some of the language I hear
And then re-arrange
And I noticed the strange
And stuck the damn thing in my ear!
A flatulent fellow named Cooper
Is known as a blue-ribbon pooper.
She said, "Thank God I'm spliced."
He exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!"
"And discretion preventing a blooper."
I spent the night face down in clover
And Latham's the dog of the drover.
By Sir Art Conan Doyle
In vats of hot oil.
And insisted he do it all over.
Republican Katherine Harris
The kind that is rampant in Paris.
He had plenty of spark
In the woods in the dark
The bat used by Yank Roger Maris.
When riding a bucker, take pains
And fastened his face to what stains.
The good will he had got
The wife of old Lot?
Over mountainous regions and plains.
There was a young lady of France
Genevieve can't sit down; see her dance
All because of that day
Is a much better way
Alas, he just missed his big chance.
A vessel has sailed from Chicago
Offered Sammy, his friend, a pistachio.
In extraneous speech
All those things you can reach
For mating -- so pick a tomato.
Cybersex is one thing I have done.
Who's reputed to be quite a stud, son.
Five liner acclaim
And enhances his name
And dammit, this gal was a nun.
Said Plato, "The things that we feel"
Had balls that were made out of steel!
Because the inspections
Or even erections.
"And prayed at the start of each meal."
Now henry, come on, man, get a life!
Got a chastity belt for his wife.
Soon the kids in the pool
And teach some darn fool.
But made for much marital strife.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Sunday, April 23 2017, 05:35:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2017 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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