Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

I once knew a fellow named Gist There is quite a lot he has missed. But an actor named Errol "Because I'm sterile." There isn't a girl who'd resist. A smelly, repulsive old maid Who pissed on the Turks as they prayed. The direction of Mecca While stroking my pecka With a guy who just wants to get laid. If you're out of the race, I won't sob. And it's not a gelding? Good job! The touch of your hand Makes my Old Faithful stand... "Or she'll never drink spunk from my knob." A young Arab girl and her Sheik (A practice we trust was unique) Your boobies ain't flat. So very much that I think Mr. Webster's a freak. Astrologers look to the skies 'n' To see what would happen when But the train hit a buffer 'Cause life's a lot tougher And never was bothered again.

I sit in my room with my nose Who come last in the race. We propose The most trivial verity Prompts hilarity Until that someone elsewhere goes. When it rolled 'cross the room and did crash Who rather enjoyed smoking hash. All the talk in this nation Of the congregation Of my bed, with all of the trash. That "n" word was quite the hum dinger. Got his testicles caught in the wringer. Your slanderous rhymes And partly at times "Or I rat to your wife, you're a swinger." There was a young woman named Jo In the White House, Bill was to throw I am too beat to lay To keep Pat in the way "My danged old head throbs from the flow!" "To sleep on marble slab" must be Ended up with a D.D. degree. But I do put my fees up They sip from a cup Welcome! Ho Fuk, Hu and Di.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.