Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

In Rome a young lady named Harriet
Bought her girls a luxurious chariot
The thing that I found
In Iraq on the ground.
And becoming a Poet Lariat.
When younger, a woman named Mandy
At selling good ale and bright Brandy.
He rebuked a young maid
And on it he played
In fact, 'twas convenient and handy.
Advice from old Simon Legree
Had monkey glands put in for free.
The list that we found
He felt honor-bound
Was the way that they meant it to be.
Disney OK'd the Gay Pride parades
Causing those Southern Baptist tirades.
"I'm much stronger than you!"
For not stopping at Crewe...
For fear they'll contract hearing AIDS.
A mere mea culpa can't fix
Whose Limericks stopped at line six.
He said, "Take my advice"
"Then it's natty, that's nice!"
Their bollocks are squashed 'tween two bricks.
A mother once took her young child
By the sweet smell of sex was beguiled.
"We screamed the first call"
She'd had a bad fall
Five delays from the court it compiled.
There was young man from Reading
That Queen Liz is snubbing the wedding.
But he got off
'Cause I'll never doff
And sprayed it all over the bedding.
Do you like yours tender and juicy?
Or Brahms, or even Mancusi
'Tis to wish you good cheer
Then I very much fear
And named his sons Alice and Lucy.
The girl with a body all-right
That is all seven dwarves up Snow White.
But there's no way to hide
Did so to provide
Hey Carol, you'll join me tonight?
There was a young fellow named Clark
Who wouldn't make love in the dark.
No, it brought me the sweet
And sometimes to beat
"So turn off the headlights and park!"

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Monday, June 18 2018, 02:05:32 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2018 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Document tree:
Site Search: