Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

The lawyer then gave a donation
Would anything less cause cessation?
He answered it fast
"Does your dick need a cast?"
The Senate should consider castration!
There once was a man named Kerry
Planned a candlelight dinner for Harry.
Cried he, "By my life!"
'Twas cut with a knife
And I'm pissing her father off -- very.
I've never been strapped in the buff.
Loathed plonk and slygrog with their kin. (bootleg stuff)
Of ways to cut loss.
With some bechamel sauce.
"We've promoted the war long enough."
Fitness folk say no pain means no gain.
And screamed, "I never lose! It's insane!"
It sorely bereft him
He wrote "Lucky Jim".
And 'twas said to wash off in the rain.
The '60's; free love and all that.
Even the one in the hat.
She would not have won
Such things could be done
Phoned his boss so to chew on the fat.
He announced proudly, "I'm on the brink"
And just long enough; yes I think
But instead is the name
Just got blown; what a shame!
But never, not even a blink.
Would Clinton submit to castration?
Often requires great dedication.
Is so hot to trot
He's an active young tot.
Helping Africa 'cause it's a nation!
An American lawyer named Bates
Reviewed his incredible rates.
Was it flowers for pollen?
Was it seed that had fallen?
Appoint Microsoft founder Bill Gates.
A bikini-clad maiden named Bella
Was mistaken each day for a fella.
"I'm greatly afraid"
Her looks began to fade.
For an unjust dude swiped his umbrella.
An expiring programmer of Devon
Today, God announced, "Soon shall Our seven"
Out of old bits and pieces
Ate several pieces
So I took her yet further to heaven.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Saturday, February 24 2018, 12:15:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2018 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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