Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

They say he's most charming and debonair
I am glad you have chosen to share.
Can you tell by the glow
That he was on show
I will not be known as their Pierre.
But of course old Pooh Bear had a sister!
In restraining the lecherous Mr.
Its undulant motions
New chemical potions
That's growing in her like a blister.
There once was a clumsy young lad
Divulged why diseases she had.
When cute female teens
Combination machines
Understandably, you were so mad.
McCain and Finegold mean to storm
The stronghold, all cuddly and warm
Gentle Bess in her bed
You don't need to give head.
'Twould take a new hairpulling form.
At the circus, a man from Niagara
Accidentally took ten Viagra.
Then she gets randy
Get randy with Mandy
You know the one they call Viagra.
It's only human nature after all
Was accused of having one ball.
I want someone here
You'll be delighted to hear.
Your stogie's not too thick or tall.
On a warm south sea island did Bert
But I still haven't lifted her skirt.
She said, "Judge, you're so cute!"
De suite', he had a cubed root!
If lucky perhaps free dessert.
My babe is a calculus ace.
And I'll wait until Mother says grace.
'Cause under the table
To clear out the stable
Compared with sex during the race.
An expert onanist named Bart
Took powerful Louis's plush throne apart.
Already we gives 'em
(A black curse upon them)
"'Cause his heart's not the operative part"
There was a young fellow named Kevin
Said, "You know my name, Father Kevin."
And the number is high
Bill said, "That's a damn lie!"
"But don't call me God, call me Kevin."

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Friday, February 22 2019, 23:25:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2019 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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