Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

Women's lib Steinem, Glorious Gloria!
Won passage to Rome. What euphoria!
For soothing what ails
Being bisexual entails
It will never play in Peoria.
There once was a pretty young maid
Or take politician's charade
Here in her own words
Like cattle in herds.
So it seems, she had never been laid.
An ugly young hooker named Milly
Whose sex life was really quite silly.
"Let's put on the shelf"
Hollered, "Go fuck yourself!"
And later you can exercise your willy.
A voluptuous maid from Montrose
Was wearing air tight pantyhose.
Then fastening, they
This is the only way
As in 8 or 9 figure portfolios.
Says my girlfriend, "It's not really lewd"
Now Kylie's stuck with some anonymous dude.
For your company is
I'd make it my biz
Very modest, a saint, or a prude.
I live near a hospital, so
Converted her charms into dough.
All the money I'd spend
My goal in the end
It's tail and all systems are go!
In the forest a woodsman named Lee
Was ripe for seduction by me.
For shooting his glitter
At the transmitter
Whilst swinging from vine back to tree?
A moral young lady named Pease
Who often dropped to her knees.
He pooped out a gem
Up more, may I hump them?
When the sheriff said, "Smile and say cheese!"
There is IRREFRAGABLE notion
With a firm circular motion.
She set the time-clock
With each tick and each tock
With the aid of a daily youth potion.
The Clinton Presidency's filled with strife.
"Will intercourse shorten my life?"
To aim it and pee
Take me, take me!
That I am not holding a knife.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Monday, December 06 2021, 21:25:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2021 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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