Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

If amusing - laugh on by all means!
Who sprouted a bulge in his jeans.
Laying chicks in the Forum
For proper decorum
Summed up: it's a wee hill of beans.
All the money the Bush regime spends
You are disappointed, my friends!
"If a big spider dares"
At most county fairs.
Until his term of orifice ends.
That skillful lens grinder Baruch
Whose kisser caused strong men to puke.
"This morning we ate"
Screamed, "Why are you late?"
"What I have's beyond any rebuke."
There once was a fellow of Bath
A night that was cold, full of wrath.
Till she took a big pill
(Giving him quite a thrill)
For he was as thin as a lath.
There was a small girl called Louise
Could bugger himself with great ease.
They lure girls and boys
When they made too much noise
And knocks most men to their knees.
The Devil is making a start
Along with the bodily part...
I questioned the class
And an amethyst ass.
"That I'll take to the bank in a cart."
A guy with a penile dysfunction
I found my machine wouldn't function.
(Like that pain, Dr. Smith)
Are nothing but myth.
When she had a most serious malfunction.
She preaches about virtue true
Stirred with a spoon in his stew.
While singing, "Come On."
And landed upon
Then "Pistol" a quarter past two.
Two elders from Dorpington Down
Her huge crack is sticky and brown.
He won two elections
She shuns doctors' inspections.
And I won't be surprised if we drown.
I think it's quite plain to see
So many do not think like me.
On alien guys
Nose and mouth to disguise.
Doesn't have a good end, you'll agree.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Tuesday, September 29 2020, 02:25:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2020 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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