Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

This modest old chap from Helsinki
But there's a girl in East Helsinki
As one client wailed
And how they had nailed
Meeting Boris in old Helsinki.
A penniless co-ed named Horning
Could not get it up in the morning.
I think I'm at my peak.
One detected a reek.
Soon earned her a grant from Dow Corning.
There once was a lady named Cleo
Saw life in the region of Leo.
That secret delight
Shakespeare's dramas I quite
Which I'll bring as a back-up in Rio.
That essay by Miss Rose Macaulay
Nicknamed for the size of his wally.
But two? I don't know
I'll pluck and then Jo
And can't complain of Fred's tiny wally.
There once was a pedophile gent
Don't despair if your todger gets bent.
He had parked up the wrong tree...
She would never agree
You'll wriggle and moan 'til you're spent.
The Brit farmer nicknamed "Bone" Marrow
Who was losing his loot playing faro.
It is perfectly plain
When the Public Domain
Aboard Nereid, now known as Sparrow.
Quite lewdly, a sailor named Bass
Who said, "Hydrogen's fartdom's main gas."
"When the dinner bell rings"
Which today pleasure brings.
And shoved a cigar up his ass.
Moses ate food from a trough. It
It shows that he's man of wit.
The chance Ah can pocket
All I've got's a socket
I couldn't give less of a shit.
A Cambridge roue could arouse
Two boobies like udders on cows!
Over 900 thou.
Back to mother's." "That cow?"
And makes serious celibate vows.
Republicans, it seems, always knock
She then gently straddled his cock.
He'll pull down his pants
And said, "Yes, I've got ants"
"Or of anything found in the Loch!"

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Sunday, March 24 2019, 06:05:05 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2019 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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