Dada Da Dada Da Dum

From the 95,000 limericks in the Jim McWilliam collection, endless new limericks can be created through Queneau assembly. Here are ten.

Her drawers she was putting a patch on
To crate Venus to take to Milan.
Houses lim look so far?
Had a beque that's bar.
DELTA blues come from south of Rouge Baton.
The problem (if problem it is)
From hitting the young intern Ms.
So why do I do it?
You have to admit
"Are none of your fucking damn biz."
I re-read old Archie's sex rhymes.
As its image fades like soft chimes
"If I plant them with ice"
On cupcakes and rice
And keep her abreast of the times.
An old politician with guile
Yelled Jane, "and a big glob of bile"
He has no drag
"In exchange for this slag"
But his wife wears a satisfied smile.
An ugly old duckling from Niles
I see you, my face wreathes in smiles.
Every cocksman in town
For her tone going down.
The girls smelled him coming for miles.
Euripides played in the shed
His own sister, and took her to bed.
A taste to be trying
That others are dying
Our Congress, GOLGOTHA, instead!
At a dance, a gay lost his shoe.
Preferred good foot sex to a screw.
I must now presume
Fell into his room
"I've got a pink banana for you!"
Falling bombs, screaming and hell-bent
She asked no advance, not a cent.
And so they wait and sit
"Take a walk, Man...just beat it!"
'Twas a slip of the pen never meant.
Beastiality's a sin--that's emphatic!
Soon his wife was a sexual fanatic.
She's easily tricked
Up 3 lemons, then kicked
Highly gifted, and highly erratic.
Ring! Ring! There goes my phone.
When I truly am down to the bone.
To spend Halloween
What's next on the scene.
As a joke, his church stands alone.

New limericks are generated every five minutes. You can get six a day by following @DadaLimericks on Twitter. Or, take it highbrow.

Rhymes are calculated using the CMU Pronouncing Dictionary. There are 1155 distinct sounds for the "A" rhyme and 1035 for the "B" rhyme.

Inspired by Dr. Andy Holding on The Science of Fiction.

This document (source) is part of Crummy, the webspace of Leonard Richardson (contact information). It was last modified on Saturday, June 16 2012, 13:42:54 Nowhere Standard Time and last built on Tuesday, December 18 2018, 19:55:04 Nowhere Standard Time.

Crummy is © 1996-2018 Leonard Richardson. Unless otherwise noted, all text licensed under a Creative Commons License.

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