Sunny 9 for 2008 December 9

Happy 5th Birthday Blog. My blog has seen me through 2 moves (soon to be one more), one horrible/awesome job. It saw my brother Dave and Ashley get married, Julie and Chuck, and brother in law Jake and Erin get married. Plus cousins, of course. It began pretty much on the commencement of my first pregnancy, and plus a second one. (If you really want to hear some sob stories /pity parties read the ones about Lily’s pregnancy), two babies and one hard working husband that got through BYU’s ridiculously hard science program (especially hard for someone that HATES school) and is almost done with 4 yrs of Dental school. I’ve had short hair and long hair through this time, straight and permed. Both my parents remarried since I’ve been blogging. I’ve been on several trips including AZ, UT, KS, TX, FL, & NY. It’s seen the birth of 8 nieces and nephews, and the death’s of my Grandpa , Aunt Frances, Aaron’s two grandpa’s and grandma, and Melea. It has been around for 2 BIL missionary homecomings. We have “owned” 4 cars during it’s life. The past 5 years have been packed full of memories.

The thing about journals is that I always threw them away after I went back years later and read them. I would read what I wrote and roll my eyes and think how lame or naïve or just plain stupid I was or what was I thinking writing this? I get really embarrassed and ashamed of my shortcomings and being reminded of them again is very humbling and uncomfortable so I would just trash it. Having a blog is a little like that. Sure there are things I would love to delete, especially having gone through it recently, re-reading entries. I am so grateful to this blog though. Not only has it kept me in touch with distant family, but I have so many precious memories recorded here. I loved going through and reading about Lily when she was a baby. I remember telling my mom in the hospital that I never want her to grow up. I wanted her to just stay so small and sweet and my little baby forever. My mom said , “oh, then you would never see her crawl or take her first step, or say her first words” and she was totally right, I love being a witness in my kids lives and seeing all their milestones, but a part of me wants to go back and hold them again at each phase. I miss my baby Lily. She was the best baby anyone could ever ask for, and even though she has been getting so fun and exciting to be around everyday, I won’t lie, sometimes it is tough to be her parent, and I am so blessed to get to go back and remember how I feel in love with her from minute one and all the incredibly cute things she did like have growling games with anyone that would growl back (memory of my grandpa, a 90-something yr old man growling for minutes back and forth with Lily when she was like 7 months old, you had to be there).

Anyway, what I am trying to say is I am so blessed with my life. Sure I have had some pretty tough trials, past and present. We all have. I love my babies so much, and I don’t deserve them. They teach me so much. They are such sweet, pure spirits, and I mess up all the time. Aaron may not be perfect, but I think we are perfect for each other. He has taught me invaluable life lessons that a perfect marriage would not afford. I love my little family. I love my big family. I love that my big family is so big. I couldn’t ask for better friends. I hope I can always recognize the ways the Lord has blessed my life and be a little bit better each day.

I feel like I should end this like a testimony, in the name of Jesus Christ :) but I guess it is kinda what it is…the church is true, seize the day, all you need is love.

Now I will try and refrain from deleting this as I have just bared my soul and feel a little naked right now.