News You Can Bruise for 1999 September 17

Jake says, "I've never been in love, I don't know what it is, I only--" I'm sorry, Jane said that. Jake says that the MP3s work fine on his Mac of might. So it's all Windows' fault. Yes, it's all Windows' fault. I just like saying that.

Mmm, goldfish crackers and pudding. It's better than sex![1]

[1] Goldfish crackers and pudding are not actually better than sex.