News You Can Bruise for 2000 March 7

A starts-amusing-and-degenerates article the original title of which (as seen on Newshub) was "Reptile diverts royal". I had to look at the article because I had forgotten about the use of "royal" as a noun so I thought "diverts" was being used as a noun and it was like "This reptile's diverts are just plain excessive!". Whatever diverts are.