News You Can Bruise for 2004 November 29

On behalf of Kevin. Attention, West Coast and chain restaurants! We know you think you know the recipe for biscuit gravy. You think it goes like this:

1. Make white sauce
2. Fry some crappy sausage
3. Put some crumbled sausage in the white sauce

Unfortunately white sauce is not biscuit gravy. White sauce is made from butter, and biscuit gravy is made from sausage grease, verily, the same sausage grease you created while frying the crappy sausage and then dumped into the grease pan or whatever happens to grease in restaurants. Contrary to popular opinion it is not neccessary to be a lovable Southern stereotype to make good biscuits and gravy. It is simply neccessary to not start off with a dang white sauce.

"Timepass". One of India's most recent contributions to the English language. It seems to mean "the ability to distract you enjoyably but without making you accomplish anything", as with Tetris. It's all over the place but I saw it in an ad for an Indian movie that claimed to be "Full of family timepass" and also "A laugh-packed rib-tickler". You can tell it's a rib-tickler because it features the only comedic actor in all of Bollywood, making faces of surprise. You know who I mean. The chubby guy.

Sumana is sick and was watching TV today when she saw a commercial where someone said "It's not a get-rich-quick scheme--but I did!"