News You Can Bruise for 2010 March 26

It used to be that movies would advertise using taglines that made puns on the phrase "kick some ass". A quick IMDB movie tagline search (possibly the coolest specialized search engine ever) reveals "It's time to kick some glass" (Glass House), "Kick some ice" (Blades of Glory), "Time to kick some asteroid" (Armageddon), "Kick some grass" (Shaolin Soccer), "Kick some Ash" (My Name Is Bruce), and "Kick some past" (Hot Tub Time Machine). The two taglines I specifically remembered ("Kick some shell" from a TMNT movie and "Kick some asphalt" from who knows what) turn out not to have been official taglines, but I'm pretty sure I've heard them used in advertising.

See, it's funny because you can't say "ass" on a movie poster. (Dishonorable mention to Slap Shot 3: The Junior League, whose tagline "Get ready for a rough-and-tumble comedy that knows how to kick some serious puck!" is a) as long as the movie itself and b) can only bring itself to make a pun on "butt".) But that fig leaf has fluttered away, because there's a movie coming out called Kick-Ass and they've got a huge subway-visible ad in Queens that doesn't have a tagline at all, just the name of the movie with its three-story "ass".

Now that the taboo has fallen, the only thing standing in the way of an epidemic of the word "ass" on movie posters is the fact that, formally speaking, a tagline has to be a joke, and "kick some ass" isn't a joke. I'm sure they'll figure out a way, though, and when that day comes I'll be waiting and vengeful. It's time to kick some "ass"!