Spam As Folk Art for 2004 January 20

renovate your ma'nho^od rywenwdgbio

Will I need approval from the Neighborhood Manhood-owners' Association?

Be What shes always BEGGED for... FAST

The stereotypical dynamics of male-female intercourse make this alleged request unlikely.

beef up the size of your johns0n! scientifically safe

Oh, scientifically safe? Why didn't you say so? *glug glug glug*

Beware of Your Helth g

I always beware of my health - it could kill me!

Do not click on the link inside!

OK.

Dont Let That Lady talk Behind your Back..

That was no lady, that was my wife!

end the harassment

I can't help what the Neighborhood Manhood-owners' Association is saying about you, man. They're like a little suburban mob. Hey, at least they aren't asking to see your permit. Yet.

Fire your bopersecutionss, with eBay!

A less than subliminal note.

Get TV FOR FREE!!!

Since I am in the US and not the UK, and thus do not pay a yearly license fee (licence fee?), I've already amortized the cost of my TV. Unless you've forgotten The Time Before Cable.

Growitchcraftw your pebetraynis

Subliminal reverse psychology homeopathy?

Hey you there medicate thy self ck

Wasn't this a Very Special Episode of ER?

Impress the daylights out of her! ot at hlwytbnnihdl

This line should be said with a pipe in one's mouth. The garbled suffix is the speaker coughing out an "old chap."

join the many Americans enlarging their penises! mfmdsio

I can hear the Spammers' National Anthem now. O, Internet / I ruin it with spam...

Live life the way it should be lived

One of those inspiring tautologies.

make new kinds of mo.ney now wdpww

Beyond Barter, Beyond Currency...there was...FAKENESS!

Make the Government return your tax-money

The Robin Hood way? The Grover Norquist way? Or the this-never-works way, with jury nullification and saying the IRS has no authority and calling city halls admiralty courts and whatnot?

Never pay for movies again - pacifist

Does the recipient believe that the RIAA holds Pentagon bake sales?

Protect Yourself against the Evil Eye!!!

See, now you're just going overboard. The Association collects its dues and enforces its bylaws, that's all. There's no coven, there's no sacrifices. Although you did sort of sacrifice your standing when you decided to go ahead on that renovation without a permit...

Quit your day jbelgiumob...

But I like working for NATO!

RE: Stop emails like this one..

Metaspam: the beginning of consciousness.

Stop Sending Me CRAP!

Self-loathing: the second step.

choose from a range of medications syllogism

All men are mortal. Now Socrates, he self-medicated.

seize the bed

Stop! Can't you see what we're doing? We formed this Association to fight crimes against nature, the kinds of desecration that would lower everyone's manhood property values.

Stop, in the name of love kq asjow vwq

But here we are, trying to seize the bed -- and the liberty, really -- of our dear friend, Muppet C. Persuasively, just because he would have used it for a little manhood-addition that's not to our liking. Well, I may not have his tastes, but I'll be damned if I'll stand by and watch you stop him from beefing up his j0hns0n! *rips badge off chest, stalks out followed by majority*

Roll credits.