Spam As Folk Art for 2008

Earth-breaking medical discovery for you!
Results of the test contaminations are right here, Professor Nemesis.
The bull is back
Tell him we're closed.
Isn't strong and powerful full-size dic'k your dream?
No, you must have someone else's case notes there, Doctor Jung.
lucky man, be careful!
You know, I find that I just don't need to be.
Be a part of our team. Make no investments and great salary.
I see what you did with that "no" clause.
Energy sector is hot right now
Divert all power from shields!
Super-sized one-eyed monster will live in your pants in New Year!
Argh!
Make all them cry for mercy and forget about you problems
Thanks, I'll try that.
Your child is the Star In a full length 3D Christmas cartoon adventure.
Please find enclosed lawsuit for home-video copyright infringement.
Appetite control for hours on end
Eat our trademarked "breakfast" product, and we guarantee that you won't feel hungry again until lunchtime.
No doctor appointment is necessary
That's a relief. Thanks, spam.
Watch 1,056 Live TV Channels on your PC
Let me just tape your eyelids back.
This is your thingy.....this is your thingy on meds. Any questions?
Are you sure you're the pharmacology lecturer, sir?

Sat Feb 16 2008 14:00 Return of the Son of Inappropriate Suffix Words:

New job! hecatomb

Sounds great! When can I start?

Wed Feb 20 2008 04:39 The Gang Of Four (Billion):

Facade, Proxy, and Factory

Yes, the most important design patterns for spammers.

No weight - no problems
Houston, everything's fine.
You won't believe this greeting!
It's actually quite a bad morning.
Eliminates books and education process call now
To have your city sacked by barbarians.
Watch your instrument lengthen by the week
Track the passage of time with our special week-measuring device.
Fill your bedroom with fire once and for all!
Burn it! Burn it to the ground!
Yours Today - Tickets to See Ellen Live
Using an online ticketing service proved to be the kidnappers' downfall.
Troy has anniversary party tomorrow, please don't forget
Bring own horse.
Large European company is looking for Us employees.
I think I lost it in the industrial park, but... Wait, there it is! It's seen us! Run!
We can get you a refinance nance quote in under 2mins fake
Hey, I heard that.

Remarkable evening,master!
==================
Want to be ready for coitus in a 4 sec? ?
Enter Here

Kind of an abrupt shift from the groveling to the sleazy.

FW: Add dr. to you name
I remember him when he was just leonar.
After yellow pill you should fix your bed!
The Ikea Matrix.
using this medicine, your body may need time to adjust The army
Once the side-effects pass, you'll lose the gills and shrink back to human-size.
Your Eugene Midas would like to communicate with you.
Edgar, yes, I mean Edgar, that's right. The spirit world is cloudy today.
Eradicates books and traveling call now
And give up your job as a door-to-door encyclopaedia salesman.
chef be discarded If you are taking your enteral feeding through
Why waste money on fancy restaurants?
Replicas will save you thousands
Let's storm the biodome and retake our city!
for no more than 12 hours at room temperature and then should giraffe
Just don't feed it after midnight.

Fri Aug 29 2008 08:33 Unbelievable Quality:

3 US Marines killed in freak training accident
Kit out three new freaks and send them to the firing range, sergeant.
Make your money
Start a career in counterfeiting today.
After our pill you will spend more time in bedroom.
Our... sleeping pill.
Dont look fat and stupid this summer.
Thin and stupid is in this year.
Price continues to climb
Ah, the climactic scene of Theatre of Blood.
get out of debt seminar
The door's right behind you.
Unbelievable Quality eds idtdwx dlkk
Unbelievably bad quality?
Man survives on bugs while lost
If you drink a cursed potion of satiation when you're half-full, your hunger score sticks at zero and doesn't decrement.
Make yourself a hero in her eyes tonight
See how Ant-Man fights off his attackers using only a contact-lens.
My favourite monogram u
Me, I've always liked "g".
Get Timepieces Search for Timepieces
YOU CANNOT SEE THAT HERE. YOU SEARCH AND FIND NOTHING.

roulette watch
Why yes, it's... [whirr, rattle, rattle, click] half past ten.
Want your love back?? Check it out
If it's not returned by the due date, it was never yours to begin with.
Heya, long time no news
Yes, sir, I gave up delivering papers when I left school.
We need real estate managers.
Not these useless young whippersnappers.
You can order Anti-depressants, weight loss meds,and pain
Maybe not that last one, thanks.
spell to win money
Sorry guys, I memorised Cure Light Wounds today.
Meds approved by us approved doctors. Pnterm.in, Va|l|ium
But were you approved by an approved medical college?
Enlarge your penis, naturally!
Well, naturally.
Surprise everybody with your enlarged size
... Everybody?
MBA-Degreees not for sale- get it.
Okay, okay, I get it, professor.

"Sign your name with the finest pens ever made" causes me to grok the appeal of fine pens for the first time.

Leonard and I think that "branded time" and "world of clocks" come from David Foster Wallace and Batman's adversary the Clock King, respectively.

Sun Nov 16 2008 09:24 Pre-Thanksgiving SAFA:

Distance education program!
Now, get out your tape measures, class.
fool get out of credit card debt
Part with your money, and fast.
video craps
Yes, sorry sir, we've had some problems with that model.
Famous branded timepieces for a song
Product placement is artistically acceptable these days.
Do you require photocopier quotes?
"ERROR 203 - OUT OF TONER", "ERROR 372 - PAPER FEED JAM"
the blackjack phone
0207 4365... bust!
We find your resume on Career Builder
Thanks, but I'm sure I can find it myself.
Now nothing can affect your abilities in bed.
Throw away your bed.
Your stamina and power won't stop amazing women.
Nothing can defeat my army of amazing women.
Magic wand? No, just magic pill!
Oh, well, that's much more plausible.