Spam As Folk Art for 2009

Wed Jan 14 2009 05:53 This Generic Tablet:

Stop fighting with your male friend and start taking the blue pill.
Let's just get this film over with, Neo.
She will want to give you the head right under the table in a restaurant.
In a black plastic bag. Have the cash ready in used bills.
Get more confidence with our amazing product!
Our advertising department are addicted to it!
Your big male thing will support you in any situation.
... Any situation?
Downloads of the Programs!
In cinemas this Friday.
If you want to be a real man - be him!
That guy over there. No, the one in the grey jacket.
Your body will resist any other watch than a Submariner.
We cut a deal with government innoculation programmes in '86.
This is your best roll
Don't forget you get a +1 bonus from the amulet.
Tired of being kidded about your limited dimensions?
Hey, Flatlander, what's up?
Your wrist is screaming for a new watch.
This thick leather strap should muffle it.
Real diplomats wear only Submariner SS watches.
Because diplomatic immunity covers public indecency laws.
Get a supernatural power by taking this generic tablet.
That's not much of a backstory.

Thu Feb 12 2009 06:12:

Funny spammer names are somewhat passé, but recently I got spam from "Chastity Hughes". The subject: "Intercourse."

Wed Mar 04 2009 13:40 Viagra vs Cialis:

Do you require email marketing quotes?
Why, yes! Welcome to Spam As Folk Art!
If you weren't blessed, we can fix that problem.
It's a bug in the altar code, the DevTeam are working on it.
Viagra vs Cialis effective
Take both, let them fight it out.
Become her megadriller
She can never get past the ghosts on Level 8.
Look like you have just walked out of the trendy store.
Stand right in front of the door, and when you see someone approaching, step forward.
Find new employment.
That's a harsh way to break it to me, boss.
Feel the juice flow and grow bigger than ever
The Blob II: The Juice
Hello not the man familiar to me!
*sigh* Hello, Agent X.
So large you will have to change your underwear
Terrifyingly large.
A classy watch is screaming about a sophisticated taste of his owner.
Would sir mind turning his watch down? It's disturbing the other diners.
Don't be the butt of fat jokes
Ha ha, "butt", get it?
RE: Your Job is at stake.
Get that kindling lit.
Work for you! Now!
Looks like that temp-agency SWAT team has arrived.
The stars use this
Delicious thermonuclear fusion.
Welcome to the world of big monsters in pants and big possibilities!
Abandoned dialogue from Jurassic Park's first draft.
When you are slim and fit it is easier to find your soul mate.
Easier to catch, I mean.
Dreaming of being sound asleep? It?s easy with Xenax!
And really confusing.

Fri Mar 13 2009 07:35 Or yes:

Subject: The offer you can not say no to! From: no reply <mrlkivcmsd@xxxxxxxxxxx.com>

Sun May 03 2009 12:42 Fairy Tales Can Come Wha?:

A retelling of "The Three Little Pigs" I had not seen before.

Fri Jun 19 2009 10:18 Abnormality Incurvature Coparceny:

Prostatitis turned you into furniture? Try Viagra Professional!
For a deep mahogany shine.
She will say ,You are the man of my dreams!, to you!
You then exit stage right.
Your loyal watch will never ever leave you.
We won't let those assassins get you, emperor.
We know the way to quit the aging process.
Death.
Being a man is very easy no matter how old you are.
Well, unless you're a child. Or female.
We will deliver your watch exactly where you ask.
Honestly, it's fine on my wrist here.
Jeff said to Email you
I see, so all this is Jeff's fault...
Trendy watches for every mood.
Except "self-conscious unfashionability".
Infection attacks! Fight back!
You die...
don't let food be your greatest concern.
You should really be worrying about sexual performance.
Get Noticed with a sexy Acai Burn body
At your local accident and emergency ward.
Smoking kills! And if you prefer to stay alive,ask us for our help.
Dr Vinnie will be round for your first protection payment on Friday.
Equip your battleship with main caliber population abnormality incurvature coparceny
I think your thesaurus just caught fire.
Produce a dream performance in bed
Go to sleep.
Every inch of your tool will be screaming about your manhood.
You yourself may also be screaming.
I ran out of traffic.
I told you not to run into it.
Tell me what you suffer from and we will find appropriate pills.
Well, I'm getting a lot of spam at the moment.

Fri Jun 26 2009 16:21 Gotta have my yield, man!:

Every once in a while I think about adding a mode to The Eater of Meaning that replaces words with their thesaurus equivalents. I never end up doing it because it's too much work. But spammers do it!

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Sun Aug 30 2009 13:56 New Host For This Leech:

The blog's now moved to harihareswara.net, and we'll have fewer problems from now on (I hope) with the server being all YOU CAN'T POST THAT IT'S SPAMMY. To kick things off: now that I've seen the subject line "such a strong positive effect on your dude-pole," I'll be hard-pressed to avoid using "dude-pole" in mixed company.