Spam As Folk Art for 2007 May

(Leonard) Oh Man My Cock is Hard

Some deviants get their kicks by sending spam.

(Kevan) Viagra-Man:

• Viagra Pro will help you to fight sexual nuisances.

  Cape and mask not included.

• Become a sexual monster with Soft Viagra.

  After a laboratory accident in Pfizer's secret research wing...

• Viagra and cialis for everyone!

  Nobody can stop me, once I open these reservoir sluice gates!

(Sumana) Truth Is Stranger Than Viagra: "From: Interweb iTechnologies"

(Sumana) Just Another Day In the 21st Century: Today's spam includes a yo-mama-esque insult: "Your penis is smaller than the smallest cell phone."

(Sumana) This snippet seems familiar...: It's from the short story "As a Bird Out of the Snare" by Dorothy Canfield.

The thought reminded him of his evening
   chores, and he set off for the barn with a harsh jubilation that it
   was almost the last time he would need to milk. How far, he wondered,
   could he go on that money? He hurried through his work and into the
   house to his old desk. The faded text-ornament stood on the top shelf,
   but he did not see it, as he hastily tumbled out all the time-tables
   and sailing-lists. The habit of looking at them with the yearning
   bitterness of unreconciled deprivation was still so strong on him that
   even as he handled them eagerly, he hated them for the associations of
   years of misery they brought back to him. Before he went into the
   house after his evening chores were done, he stopped for a moment and
   looked back at the cleft in the mountain wall through which the
   railroad left the valley. He had been looking longingly toward that
   door of escape all his life, and now he said good-by to it. Ah well,
   twant to be, he said, with an accent of weary finality; but then,
   suddenly out of the chill which oppressed his heart there sprang a
   last searing blast of astonished anguish. It was as if he realized for
   the first time all that had befallen him since the morning. He was
   racked by a horrified desolation that made his sturdy old body stagger
   as if under an unexpected blow. As he reeled he flung his arm about
   the pine tree and so stood for a time, shaking in a paroxysm which
   left him breathless when it passed.

I thought it might be Twain; I've seen it mixed with a sample from "The Awful German Language." Also today I got a few sentences from Stephen King's Misery. Looks pretty good. Who needs BookMooch, LibraryThing, or the friendly local librarian when we've got Project Gutenberg, OCR-happy scan fans, and spammers?

(Sumana) "Students cheating insisting lying.": I am pleased to inform you that one of the best things that can happen to any Internet user is to be rewarded for spending money and time on the Internet.

Oh, no need to thank me.

I know this will come to you as a surprise because you do not know me.

If only spam were a surprise.

Also, today some spam had munged quotes from an interesting NYT story. Who needs del.icio.us?