Spam As Folk Art for 2007 July

(Brendan) A Gentle Hint: If you are trying to convince me that you are a bored 25 y.o. girl w/ pics 2 share, you may want to avoid using "From" names like Weldon, Lon and Perry.

(Sumana) Very Creative Commons: I present to you some excerpts from a bit of spam I got that took, as its text, Isaac Asimov's Foundation stories. Subject: Psychohistorians HARI SELDON had held, his back upon the sensation of it was anything;

Enjoy.

Not touch the Anacreonian worlds: on a feverish part in the soul that you're going it won't work entirely and your last shipment. He was my philosophy of knowledge.

We have predicted the gold only Sermak, that: it opened it for thirty years now, achieved is a buzz of strength of generations of the masses, too important.

The age he caught its fall not at a missionary were kicked warmed put on the planet; will force field. They have been impossible aren't you. Aporat, grimly, I have eat fire flies caught his life motion and he said Bort?

And if they run my crimson and then looked up at the throne stiffed. Have nice of recognition of the ground slowly, the assassination, of Korell to ruin of seats, then you every known; since and HARI SELDON crisis; and Daribow?

Sermak viciously (a tall man)? The steady historical validity of factly, destiny of years. Do you the problem the second class psychologist enough to himself, in your a confession of the planet, seemed at the youthful spirits of their foreign policy to make them, from his Holy seat lip, and it's I'll have now since your bunch here at the other's treaty, is to kindle it once most of entirely different in ahchaeology, ah.

And irrevocable a question? Mallow's eyebrows lowered; and one yet.

One interesting thing here is how thoroughly Asimov's accessible prose gets wrecked. If it weren't for the proper nouns (and "psychohistory," which arguably deserves the same standing), I wouldn't have recognized it at all -- and unlike Rowling, Asimov in Foundation et al. doesn't have many memorable names.

This spam, then, gives us a glimpse into the alternate universe where James Joyce, or William Gibson, wrote Foundation. Come to think of it, the Foundation saga still has a few hundred years left to detail -- WG, want a crack at it?

(Sumana) "I'm going to show you this, but keep it secret!": A subject line from my spam collection. I think it was Ben Franklin who said, "Three men may keep a secret, if two of them are spammers." Here are some of those secrets.

Did you know that 76% of girls prefer guys with a descent ramrod?

I live right near a hardware store - it must carry those. Let's go!

We bet it's not a secret for you, but the true secret is how you can ENLARGE your WEENIE safely and WITHOUT ANY RISK to amaze 100% of girls.

It will make your squib a real space rocket that will raise you up to the seventh sky of the sexual satisfaction!

ENLARGE my WEENIE? Classy. I bet I could find references to the seventh sky of the sexual satisfaction in Chinatown.

They work for up to 36 hours

...without a break, because they are terrified of losing in the first few episodes of Project Runway and being completely forgotten even in the DVD special features.

Now, my libido is back, and also my sex drive.

Does this person think that his libido was previously not the same thing as his sex drive?

twisted pit viper

Hey, there's no need for that kind of spite. I can understand why Laura questioned the authenticity of Jeffrey's work -- she'd never seen that kind of craftsmanship from him before, because they'd always worked on 2-day deadlines, so she didn't know he could do it. Would you really rather she'd bit her tongue and allowed what seemed like a breach of the rules to pass?

(Sumana) Depressing, Poignant Spam:

Hi, my gentleman

You know, sometimes it happens that you are in a rush and you are afraid to be late and you think that you are the most important person in this world...but you will never be able to do the MOST important...

Maybe it is because you still don't know WHAT IS? most important for You? Maybe you know, but often the Most important changes over time? It is different at 20 than at 16, and than at 25 it changes even more?

The Most important for me in my life is Family, Love, Passion, Relationships with a beloved man. You can call it any name you wish, but the meaning remains the same. I want to love and to be loved...You now know that you can find me at [URL]

You know, sometimes you are afraid to sleep alone...
You know, sometimes you are afraid that you exist...
You know, sometimes it is just raining and cold...
You know, sometimes...
You know...

See you

Raquel

Just to leaven this: indeed, the three turning points in one's life occur at 16, 20, and 25. Raquel would like multiple relationships with her beloved man (simultaneous? sequential?). And he will never be able to do the most important thing in the world: give birth? live a day free of junk e-mail?