Spam As Folk Art for December 2003

Sat Dec 06 2003 07:22:

Energy never tasted so good: "Wow, this energy does taste good... but what do I have to compare it to? Perhaps I'll try a bite of this power line, so hieiahghAHGAHGEH"
Ride like a stalion for 36 hours ---- Make her come back for more llj o: I'd, uh, rather not. I mean, wouldn't you get hungry?
The only solution to Penis Enlargement: Technically, that'd be penis reduction.
paris?: For a second, that almost sounded romantic.
onvyer W@@tcch tthee Päriis Hiiltt0n homee vvídeô pdm: That just makes me imagine it being said in a kind of Igor voice. It should really include something about "(wheeze) Br@@ins!"
From: Muppet C. Persuasively: Best spam name ever. (Other candidates included Sniff E. Empiricism, Semifinal H. Roguery, and Niggard C. Prong.)
Xorph, Cum Facials APPARENTLY: It's like he's really kind of surprised to see the content on his own site.
god Horses, Dogs and Farmgirls obviously: And now he's self-aware and jaded!
How Rich People Cut their mortgage in HALF!: Presumably, they use their wealth to pay it off.
The Wonder Pill --- Taking the WORLD BY STORM! tt: "Hey, did you see that? I think it's The Wonder Pill!"
"It is! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"
(smashing sounds as Tokyo is destroyed)
Bill O'Reilly says.................... jfccpkfclzs: He's just been a lot less sensible lately. Ever since he started trying to eat energy.

Mon Dec 08 2003 12:38 Guest Observation:

Leonard notes, "I love the hilarious circumlocutions to which spam goes to to avoid saying 'paris' or 'hilton'. They make assumptions that the spam reader is smarter than they are.... Like 'france's capital'."

Update: Leonard also notes "The French Revolution of the 21st century has arrived." Leonard believes that you can tell a lot about a spammer by the peculiar brand of creativity with which he evades spam filters, and feels a kinship with these particular souls. I say Stockholm syndrome. Or should I say "disease associated with the Nobel something-or-other."

Mon Dec 08 2003 12:46 In the Tradition of Muppet C. Persuasively:

Hi Letters a greeting from "Empty H. Cummerbund"

Mon Dec 08 2003 14:13:

"diamonds are for Lovers"? Virginia will be confused, as Arkansas is the only state in the Union with a diamond mine.

Wed Dec 17 2003 08:35 Someday I Will Post A List Of Great Spam Names:

pills to sleep with women........from Avery Ware.......98ik: Is that a headline? "Pills To Sleep With Women; Women To Not Notice"
Onanism does NOT make you blind! Test:Can you see this webpage?: I got nothin' to say; this is funny.
|ose 20 lbs guaranteed satan mthyjf: Not a good deal. Hold out for 25.
Who's First? You, or Everyone Else?: Technically, how would "everyone else" be first?
We Can Cure Canser pe: And I Can Cure Spellcheck.
want some wholesome viagra?: Brought to you by the Ads In Life Magazine Council.
vague are you "the man"...........................................................................candide: Maybe, kinda, sorta.
Totally Passive Cash: Better than money that works for you is money that lounges around the pool while you live off its parents' trust fund.
This is so hot, her lawyers are suing: Truly, this is the sine qua non of hotness.
Uncover what others don't want to know: Missing pronoun, or Cthulu? You make the call!
Salon are you broke because of bills: Especially poignant to my longtime colleagues at Salon.
science has finally done it: Now go to your room!
One of the 5 wonders of the world: The other two have been outsourced to the moon.
Prod Free ebay course monogamy: Any course in monogamy is really a course in abstinence and in the erotic.
one hundred percent confidential goof x cz k yu: Maybe eighty percent.
Not available in stores! - Childrens Learn to Draw Books: When Informercials Meet Human Interest Stories
in a world of a billion people, I'll tell the world...: I assume this is leading to a "therefore, I can catch fish of arbitrary size"-style conclusion.
its in the media for a reason n mrf z s qao r: Appeals to causality will not persuade me to buy your snake oil, Mr. McSpam.
DVD MONSTER? oh my god, XP Pro only at 50 dollar ?? Re: CYSZTBI, tour little watchie? Shopping in Beirut during Ramadan? What If Santa Left A Real Star Under The Tree?: There is a scene in The Offpsring (Star Trek: The Next Generation where Lal, Data's daughter, starts asking question after question, including "Why is the sky black?" and Data switches her off to stop the wave of why. These questions make me sad because I think of Lal enslaved to spammers.

Spam As Folk Art for 2003 December