Spam As Folk Art for 2004 October 3

A few sender names:

• Truman Fountain. I would totally believe this as a place, maybe in Missouri or in some incredibly obscure corner of the White House grounds.
• Platinum Romance. Romance that is rare and expensive? "Linda, I really think we could have something going here, a romance with an atomic number of 78."
• Hilario Preston. "Oh, Pressy! What a wit! Biff, did you hear what Hilario Preston just uttered?" (See Inconsiderate Cell Phone Man.)
• beginfrazzle1708y@arabesque.com. Ballet can get pretty stressful.
• Bequeathed A. Colloquies. When I die, my estate will go to the Commonwealth Club.
• Kermit Rich. Tarzan fell, frog nursed Tarzan back to health, Tarzan grateful, now Kermit Rich.
• Refugio Justice. "Refugio" and "Hilario" remind me of Pisco Bandito, the Bandit Fish.
• Capitalizing J. Carissa. Carissa Capitalizes It All (for our younger Nickelodeon viewers).
• Biorhythm K. Allentown. Funkytown is in Rhythm Nation! Won't you take me to....Allentown?
• Metabolize P. Cyclones. A self-powered Dyson vacuum?
• dr.popkow@skinlasercenter.com. Too onomatopoetic for this potential patient!

And then there are subject lines.

not this time infest mack

A deleted scene from AntZ, starring Woody Allen and Sharon Stone. One termite sees some tasty-looking wood that's actually plastic. The other lays a claw on his shoulder and sorrowfully shakes a mandible. Thorax? Whatever.

Women will leave their men for you -dilemma asjna

A command-line excerpt: ./women-will-leave-their-men-for-you -dilemma -u brad_pitt
Surprisingly enough, I can find no organizations with the initials ASJNA.

Foreleg J. Unscrews

Ew!

Moon Landing NCAA Basketball in 1980 Not so good. stranger

Am I the stranger, or does this spam promise scenarios even stranger than the one just revealed?

Get that job you always wanted. Premiumhelp egregiousmaladaptive

"Get that job you've always wanted; you're certainly no good at this one."