(Sumana) Wouldn't it be inconvenient to have each of your prescriptions delivered discretely?

(Sumana) I Was Born a Spam, Baby: The spam subject line "Massive Passive Cash" reminds me of "Jupiter" by the Presidents of the United States of America:

Jupiter, Jupiter, massive passive ball
Jupiter, Jupiter, or-or-orbital
Jupiter, Jupiter, mass of gas and dammit
Jupiter, Jupiter's, pure pure pure pure planet

Could it be a conscious reference? How many people have listened to that much POTUSA?

(Sumana) In Case You're Just Arriving: I really enjoy November's entries.

Rather poetic subject lines:

onomatopoeia indefinable ernest

The sound was indescribable, but not in a Cthulu way.

Animastic Platter

The mimetic goo from the gelatin slide is now $6.99 at Red Lobster!

Dough, bread, clams, pearls 1d

It's an SAT analogy, subtle and yummy.

Re: knoweth Suspended ruinous Account euwdsyccmbqjy fnabrj

And the Christ DID cast the moneylenders from the temple, and they WERE forced to suspend thy account.

Re: gas_saver is here emaciate hj qratb wagu

If we don't reduce our dependence on Middle Eastern fossil fuels, we'll turn into starving, babbling loonies.

jwcwuljgm freedom freedom why keep ûp the struggle, acqu!ire out of that mess sxbkwzdu
vnh income grand why keep *up the strug.gle, annex out òf that mess oxvrar

What is a better reason to struggle? Freedom freedom, or an income grand?

(Sumana) Uncover what others don't want to know from last month also reminds me of What You Can't Say.

(Sumana) "Who is telling you that this is false?": Andy Holloway alerts me to his own spam poetry. From his message to me:

The general idea is that it's an attempt to get spammers to have written me poetry; when I've noticed a particularly surreal or interesting spam subject line (or had one pointed out to me) I have added it to the end of this file, and when a particular narrative seems to have come to a natural end, I close off that poem and start another one.

And Muppet C. Persuasively has a rival: McCarthyism E. Objectiveness.

(Sumana) By the Trunk of Sweet Ganesha: Nathaniel Smith writes in:

Just received: Subject: Now you can do it Incredibly-druid l

This just makes me think of the 3rd verse of the old "Give Me That Old Time Religion" pastiche:

We will worship like the Druids,
Dancing naked in the woods,
Drinking strange fermented fluids,
And it's good enough for me!
(chorus)

and cites the original and the filk.

(Sumana) You know you want it! Starvation consensus

The scary thing is that maybe I really do want that.

(Sumana) Just got a personals ad spam ("dates in your area," etc.) entitled must? No, I am not an elephant.

(Sumana) Spamegorical Imperatives:

renovate your ma'nho^od rywenwdgbio

Will I need approval from the Neighborhood Manhood-owners' Association?

Be What shes always BEGGED for... FAST

The stereotypical dynamics of male-female intercourse make this alleged request unlikely.

beef up the size of your johns0n! scientifically safe

Oh, scientifically safe? Why didn't you say so? *glug glug glug*

Beware of Your Helth g

I always beware of my health - it could kill me!

Do not click on the link inside!

OK.

Dont Let That Lady talk Behind your Back..

That was no lady, that was my wife!

end the harassment

I can't help what the Neighborhood Manhood-owners' Association is saying about you, man. They're like a little suburban mob. Hey, at least they aren't asking to see your permit. Yet.

Fire your bopersecutionss, with eBay!

A less than subliminal note.

Get TV FOR FREE!!!

Since I am in the US and not the UK, and thus do not pay a yearly license fee (licence fee?), I've already amortized the cost of my TV. Unless you've forgotten The Time Before Cable.

Growitchcraftw your pebetraynis

Subliminal reverse psychology homeopathy?

Hey you there medicate thy self ck

Wasn't this a Very Special Episode of ER?

Impress the daylights out of her! ot at hlwytbnnihdl

This line should be said with a pipe in one's mouth. The garbled suffix is the speaker coughing out an "old chap."

join the many Americans enlarging their penises! mfmdsio

I can hear the Spammers' National Anthem now. O, Internet / I ruin it with spam...

Live life the way it should be lived

One of those inspiring tautologies.

make new kinds of mo.ney now wdpww

Beyond Barter, Beyond Currency...there was...FAKENESS!

Make the Government return your tax-money

The Robin Hood way? The Grover Norquist way? Or the this-never-works way, with jury nullification and saying the IRS has no authority and calling city halls admiralty courts and whatnot?

Never pay for movies again - pacifist

Does the recipient believe that the RIAA holds Pentagon bake sales?

Protect Yourself against the Evil Eye!!!

See, now you're just going overboard. The Association collects its dues and enforces its bylaws, that's all. There's no coven, there's no sacrifices. Although you did sort of sacrifice your standing when you decided to go ahead on that renovation without a permit...

Quit your day jbelgiumob...

But I like working for NATO!

RE: Stop emails like this one..

Metaspam: the beginning of consciousness.

Stop Sending Me CRAP!

Self-loathing: the second step.

choose from a range of medications syllogism

All men are mortal. Now Socrates, he self-medicated.

seize the bed

Stop! Can't you see what we're doing? We formed this Association to fight crimes against nature, the kinds of desecration that would lower everyone's manhood property values.

Stop, in the name of love kq asjow vwq

But here we are, trying to seize the bed -- and the liberty, really -- of our dear friend, Muppet C. Persuasively, just because he would have used it for a little manhood-addition that's not to our liking. Well, I may not have his tastes, but I'll be damned if I'll stand by and watch you stop him from beefing up his j0hns0n! *rips badge off chest, stalks out followed by majority*

Roll credits.

(Sumana) Election Commentary: lockstep implausible

(Sumana) Spammer "Names": The gold standard is Muppet C. Persuasively, with McCarthyism E. Objectiveness close behind. But here are a few contenders:

• Economics V. Vehemence (Economics, Malthus, VHEMT, sure!)
• Ganglions A. Aeneid (this one is for Seth and Dr. Julian Bashir)
• Odessa Battle
• Dallas Villalobos (I suppose this one performs Tex-Mex versions of classical guitar etudes)
• Napoleon Bowles
• Autumn Foreman
• Topsail T. Oxes

(Sumana) Evocative: boycott ditty

(Sumana) Don't Worry, This One Has No Plot:

Working from home conqueror

I'm imagining Alexander the Great telecommuting, playing multiplayer Civilizations.

I cant even think of that

Oh, I'm shocking a spammer now?

girls triple kissing

Inventive, but only academically interesting.

A time for peace, a time for joy.
yep, i'm tired of it

Juxtaposition in the original, tee hee.

New hair growth and color reparation

I'm paying my scalp restitution for that "Scully-red" period.

Re: conversation was going pvtjugg uyc

Yeah, that's how I felt last night.

Leftovers A quick way to find your new car

New cars should not smell like Chinese food.

The best thing since white bread

Since I don't particularly like white bread, in my opinion the best thing since white bread was the thing immediately after white bread.

indecisive cavalcade

More election commentary!

Hold on! Invitation violent

I knew Orkut was trouble.

Warning Networkers!: (YOU WILL SUCCEED!) whehcyqmj

As Leonard said, apparently now you can prepend "Caution!" to any arbitrary statement. "Warning! Everything's fine."

Well East Coast Girls are Hip, I.... kjgwdovbwngo kc
you can swing it at the hop.............. ddacxwciyjjzkbmsa

Yes, your inbox is now a jukebox! In more Transformer news:

Turn google.com into your own automated cash machine

Where would the cash would come out -- the cupholder?

This can change your life, for the better

I love the lawyerly butt-covering.

landmark deploy apocalyptic handymen

Uh-oh, I insulted lawyers!

(Sumana) Not A Whole Can, Just A Snack:

Sick of deleting junk recursion email !? Spa m Exterminator kills all bad spa m automatically!

Kills Me Dead.

Jacko considers running against Bush13746

And you think the debates are circuses now. Let's make the US more like Neverland! What are Neverland's foreign policies?

a noticable increase in thinkness

A forgotten line from "If I Only Had A Brain."

Filch Euclid

Great artists steal!

From Leonard:

Score like a star-discoid oo

they tell us what kind of star to score like

Your woman and all women-delusion znykhia cwq x bwc

"ah, ze woman, she is but ze delusion, no?"

Attract Wild women into your life-arc cvzbrxsgwdit

looks like he got more than he bargained for

From Kevin:

dentistry hazardous huckster

Sometimes randomness brings wisdom.