News You Can Bruise for 2005 May 24

Sometimes the new Project Gutenberg texts that show up in my RSS feed are really interesting, but usually they're boring sentimenal novels of the nineteenth century. However even boring sentimental novels can provide entertainment value via their lists of illustrations at the front of the book. When each illustration is captioned with a corresponding line from the book, you can read the captions as a sort of derivative work created at semi-random out of sentences from the book. It often makes for intriguing literature.

For instance, The Day of Days we get this little denoument:

"What I want to say is—will you be my guest at the theatre tonight?"

"You are the one woman in a thousand who knows enough to look before she shoots!"

Facing her, he lifted his scarlet visor.

He was Red November.

And in Little Eve Edgarton this madcap comic gem:

"Music! Flowers! Palms! Catering! Everything!"

"I am riding," she murmured almost inaudibly

"I would therefore respectfully suggest as a special topic of conversation the consummate cheek of—yours truly, Paul Reymouth Edgarton!"

"Your paper-doll book?" stammered Barton

"Don't delay me!" she said, "I've got to make four hundred muffins!"

Suddenly full comprehension broke upon him and he fairly blurted out his astonishing information

"You're nice," he said. "I like you!"

"Any time that you people want me," suggested Edgarton's icy voice, "I am standing here—in about the middle of the floor!"

Man, four hundred muffins. Almost makes me want to read the book. Actually I just skimmed it and that one's not too bad.

My Soy-lent Green idea has come to fruition as HuFu. Specifically it has come to fruition as T-shirts and other paraphernalia about the purported product; you can't actually buy any.

Continuing my interest in mortgage spam. About 90% (or, perhaps, 3.77%) of the recent mortgage spam I've seen tries to give the impression that this is a follow-up to some earlier missed connection. For instance, from the most recent specimen to get past my filters: "We tried to contact you earlier about flnanclng your home at a lower rate."

Why is this such a common feature of mortgage spam? Are they trying to trick the people who are trying to get a mortgage but haven't heard back from the bank? A sort of phishing applied to customer poaching?

List of possible terrorist plans. Includes dumb ones, and oddballs like "Terrorists might throw the nation's largest pancake breakfast." "Terrorists might unplug ticker tape thing." I think I've done that by accident. This needs to be an NKI list. Robotfindkitten: Public Safety Edition. Be alert!

New feeds at the automat, for Kris' dual comic threat Checkerboard Nightmare and Starshift Crisis.